Life in Balance

Courage is grace under pressure. –Ernest Hemingway

Does the lid feel like it’s about to blow? Tension and anxiety appear to be building and people seem to be looking for answers but it doesn’t sound as if they know what the questions are.

If we are all somehow energetically connected, like a grid, as I believe, then I think we are experiencing a brown out. This amorphous dissatisfaction seems to be the common thread among most people. We are in desperate need of balance, but how do we get it?

What does being balanced even feel like? If we don’t know what we are looking for, how will we know when and if we get it?

 I stumbled upon, (literally), a great blog yesterday called Self Improvement Saga, one entry was entitled, “Vibrational Frequency and the Law of Allowing”  (http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2r8y16/blog.self-improvement-saga.com/2011/05/law-of-allowing-vibrational-frequency/)

In it the author asks you to answer the following questions:

1)    Write down the 5 things you want out of life.

2)    What feeling or benefit comes along with each of these answers?

So let’s take some obvious goals anyone could want.

1) Be healthier

2) Be happier

3) Be more successful in my relationships

4) Attain professional success

5) Have financial freedom

By attaining any or all of these I will feel accomplished, confident, happier and whole.

Then the next step would be to ask your self the question, “What do I have to do to accomplish these things?” First off I would have to look inward and ask myself out loud, what is keeping me from having all of this?

Well, if I am being honest with myself (which is KEY) than I know the only thing that is keeping me from fulfilling my dreams is, well, me. I have to learn to get out of my own way to get what I want. Does that sound selfish? To actually get what you want? We have been trained to not think that way.  What do you mean your doing what is best for you?! How rude, who do you think you are?

What is better, not getting what you want because it is socially acceptable to do what everyone else wants you to do?  Or doing what is right in order for you to achieve your wildest dreams? (And BTW, there is a difference between working hard to achieve your dreams and being arrogant and demanding things you don’t deserve. There is no justification for entitlement.)

Everyone deep down knows what they have to do to make their lives better. They just choose to hang on to the default setting of, “It's not my fault, it's not fair, I don’t feel like it today, maybe just one more, if he/she didn’t do….then I wouldn’t have to do….” Sometimes the answers are really difficult to hear spoken out loud. We avoid saying them, desperate to keep the secret of what it really will take. but we are only fooling ourselves.

Maybe being in balance will change nothing but your perspective and how you see your situation But maybe that is all you need to have a better life.

Go into the ‘settings’ and change the default. Accept responsibility and accountability that everything we get in life is coming to us because one way or another we attracted it.

I am saying this not because my life is perfect and I have everything I want. I am saying this because I try to reset the default button everyday in hopes that someday my muscle memory will make the right decisions by default. I know everything I need to do to have everything I need.  As my friend Pat says, It is time to stop looking at the vitamin bottle on the counter top and just take one already. So true!

So here is what you do.

Listen to your intuition. Like I used to say to my teenage children before they went out on a Saturday night, “Jiminy Cricket!” And that meant, “Always let your conscience be your guide". Listen to that voice in your head, it speaks the truth! You already know what to do.

Practice yoga and/or some form or another of meditation. It doesn’t have to be hard-core Ashtanga or Bikram yoga and you don’t have to live in an Ashram.

An easy, restorative, therapeutic yoga practice will help your body create what Bo Forbes in his book “Yoga for Emotional Balance” calls, neuroplasticity, which is basically muscle memory for your nervous system. Return to who you really are. When you practice this even for a short time everyday your nervous system will say “Oh yeeaahh. I remember you! Haven’t seen you in years but this natural, relaxed and balanced state is who you really are!” Running and doing serious cardiovascular workouts are extremely beneficial, but I think turning inward and being gentle and kind with yourself is going to connect you to the balance you seek.

Practice breathing. Sounds crazy! Why would we practice something that we do all day long, even unconsciously?

Believe it or not, most people typically breathe short and shallow breaths rather than  deep breaths from the belly. To practice belly breathing you put your hands on either side of your rib cage and breath deeply and evenly through your nose and feel your rib cage expanding on the inhale and contracting on the exhale. By doing so you are stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system. This is the “rest and digest” system. This calms everything down and when you practice this everyday, than when something truly stressful appears in your life you will have this tool to go to automatically.

When you mouth breath and your shoulders move up to your ears on the inhale you are shallow breathing. This type of breathing stimulates the sympathetic nervous system, or the “fight or flight response”.  Of course this is vital to our existence on the planet but your body, not only responds to danger through this system but also stress, fear, depression, anger and sadness can trigger the sympathetic system. So when an intruder breaks into your home or you run into a bear in the woods you want that fight or flight response. But when your spouse or partner annoys you or you are in traffic, or in any situation where stress can be triggered its best to learn how to control your breathing thus helping you to control your emotional response to everyday life. Your ability to respond is your responsibility!

Every single person on the planet holds within them the key to living in balance. And it is balance for all human beings, that is our birthright, that will end the feeling of living in this simmering pot.

Have faith and keep an open mind. It is like everything else that is worthwhile you have to have a dedicated practice to be in balance. It doesn’t happen overnight but if you keep it going, one night it will happen.


Just like the vitamins, it is sitting right in front of you. Go ahead, take one already.

Science Vs. Spirituality

Not everything that counts can be counted and not everything that can be counted counts. -Albert Einstein.

A few weeks ago I was in New York City for the weekend to attend a Medical Reiki seminar. The class was led by Pamela Miles, (www.reikiinmedicine.org). Ms. Miles is the author of REIKI: A Comprehensive Guide, an invaluable reference tool for Reiki practitioners who would like to express their practice in a more professional and less ‘out there’ way. I highly recommend this seminar to anyone who practices Reiki.

As I like to do, I wrote a blog about my experience after the weekend was over. I was really trying to keep it clean and precise. I ended up writing a piece I was not connected to because that is what I thought you had to do when writing about science or medicine. In an effort to keep it clinical, I ended up making it sterile and I was nowhere to be found.

I sent a draft to Pamela Miles. I was the eager student hoping for the teacher’s approval, but this was not to be. She sent my piece back to me with constructive criticisms and suggestions. I took her advice as she intended it and was not emotionally attached to what she said. (A daily Reiki practice is ironically how I was able to not take the criticism of my Reiki writing personally!) The line that struck me the most was, “Where are you in this piece?”  Hmmmm. Good question, where was I?

I decided to put the blog on the back burner and leave it alone for a while. In the weeks that followed I went about my business of setting up my new office and getting organized. Doing reading or research in the mornings led me to some interesting findings. Without even realizing it I found myself being drawn to articles and books about, of all things Science. I was googling scientists and reading everything I could find that would pose a question between science vs. spirituality.

I would say most people at one time in their lives have thought, even for a fleeting moment, what is the meaning of life and why are we here? Since that question can never truly be answered or measured or proved scientifically, does it mean it doesn’t exist?  If we agree that the question exists than I suppose it is possible to entertain the notion that “we just don’t know”, could be the answer?

We do know the Earth existed long before man did. Man arrived and the quest for knowledge was born. Stephen Hawking once said the only thing he doesn’t understand and wants to know more about are women! It is interesting that up to now evolution has been male driven and we are emerging into an age of seeing things from a more feminine evolutionary standpoint. 

Meaning, if the masculine side essentially comes from strength and the female side from goodness then human beings must have a balance of these two sides of themselves in order to help each other live whole lives regardless if they are a man or a woman.

The more balanced a person feels, the more they are apt to have the confidence to help others achieve balance in their lives as well. If you are out of balance then you have a tendency to want to dominate someone instead of helping them live to their fullest potential.  

The Medical Reiki Seminar piqued my interest into seeing things from a more logical perspective. Essentially helping to balance the yin to my yang.

With a heightened interest in science I realized I could see my Reiki practice in a whole new light. Connecting Reiki and Medicine you could potentially have an experience that would be much more meaningful to both sides.

Reiki is a putative therapy, meaning there is absolutely nothing about it that can be proved scientifically. Yet I know from first hand experience the benefits Reiki can bring you physically, emotionally and spiritually.

Richard Feynman who was a brilliant scientist and bongo player, among other things, once said, “It is much more interesting to have doubt and to not know answers.”  

I am all for making life more interesting. We may not get all the answers but let’s never stop asking the questions.