Who would attempt to fly with
the tiny wings of the sparrow
when the mighty power of the
eagle has been given to him?

Monday, July 30, 2012

A Precious Life


Strength does not come from physical capacity. It comes from an indomitable will.
- Mohandas Gandhi (Mahatma Gandhi)

We had a terribly tragic event occur in our family last week. My cousin Mallory, who is a young wife and mother, was flying out to Las Vegas to meet her husband who had been recently transferred there from Tampa, Florida. Upon arrival she was asked to remain on the plane while the other passengers disembarked along with her mother, my aunt Jean, and her two young boys age 2 and 3.

At first she assumed they lost her luggage or something. What on Earth could it possibly be? This happy young beautiful couple was about to start a brand new adventure in a brand new city. Always putting his family first, Travis had gone out earlier to settle things so the house would be ready by the time his wife and boys arrived. He told his boys before he left that when they got off the plane and saw him they were to run up to him, jump in his arms and say “Daddy we missed you so much!” They practiced this all week long and the boys had it down by the time they arrived.

As they were escorted off the plane my cousin was greeted by some airport officials who brought her into a room where she found her in laws waiting for her crying with three words that would change her life forever. “Travis is dead.”

I can’t imagine what transpired in the moments after that. What it took to comprehend what they were saying to her. How could this young woman step off a plane to meet the love of her life, the father of her babies on their brand new adventure only to be faced with this terrible news? A very surreal moment where she must have just kept thinking, Is this really happening?

Although I do not know the exact results of the autopsy I do know that this young 34 year old, fit and healthy man was unloading the moving truck in extreme heat with a few of his family members there to help him. It was a very hot day; he was doing some serious heavy lifting. He said he didn’t feel well and twenty minutes later he was dead.
A loving son, a wonderful husband an amazing father a devoted brother and a loyal friend was no longer here in a blink of an eye, so many lives irrevocably changed.

Mallory then had to check into a hotel with her family and figure out what to do next. Far away from home, a stranger in a strange land with her world rocked to the core.
 I am sure what just kept running through her brain was "What do I do now?"

She did what she had to. What her boys needed her to do and what her husband would have wanted her to do. With a heart broken into a million pieces she started making decisions about things young mothers should never have to make decisions about.

Sadly when I spoke to her I was reminded of friends and family who lost fathers of young children in 9/11. Inadequately I offered my lame words of what I hoped to be comforting. But what can you say to someone who has a shattered heart? Don't look out on the horizon. Just lower the gaze and take one thing at a time. Words easier said than done. I think all we can do as bystanders to this sad story is be present for them. Wrap them up in arms of thoughts, prayers and love. Let them know even though it looks so dark, some stars are bright enough to shine through the darkest of nights.

Why does this happen? Who knows? What I guess is my beautiful cousin will come out of this not devoid of scars but with a deeper understanding of just how kick ass a girl can be when she needs to. Stronger, more capable, empowered to know she faced the hardest thing the most unimaginable thing you could think of and she still woke up the next day and got out of bed and the next and the next.

Life moves forward and tremendous joy can live side by side simultaneously with extreme heartbreak. We are coming together to celebrate her husband’s life this weekend. Back in Florida where she will set her old house back up, unpack the boxes from the moving truck that took them from her happy home just last week.

 Begin anew again. It won’t be easy but she is a brave girl and has an amazing support system in her family that she gets along with like friends and friends who are like their family. Not to mention her two beautiful boys. Her strength will shine through her sadness and tears.

All of Travis and Mallory's friend’s have been remembering him as a person who touched so many lives and had a positive impact on everyone who came in contact with him one way or another be it through friendship or business. One of these dear friends set up a place where you could donate to a fund that will benefit the boys while their mother places the pieces of their lives back together.

She told me that as hard as it is to hear her boys keep asking her "Where is Daddy I have to tell him I missed him so much?" It also touches her heart and makes her smile through the tears. She brings them outside at night and tells them to look at the stars and that is where they can tell him anything they want.

This has put a lot in perspective for me and no doubt everyone that knows Travis and Mallory. Life is precious and we get so easily caught up in getting frustrated and angry over things that really don’t matter at all. As Mall keeps saying this week, give the people you love a hug and don’t take anything for granted. I am sure she has to take each day minute by minute at this point but someday things will be better. For now let’s send her family loving thoughts and prayers. And don’t forget to give the people you love a hug today.

Please consider clicking on the link and contributing even a small amount to The Travis Williams Memorial Fund.
Travis Williams Memorial Fund