RESOLUTIONS

For last year's words belong to last year's language And next year's words await another voice. And to make an end is to make a beginning.
~T.S. Eliot, "Little Gidding"

A very exciting time is quickly approaching. New Years Resolution time! With this day comes the promise of a new, super you. I recently read an article about a woman who was talking about meeting her future self. ‘Wait until you meet future me! I am skinny and wise and I meditate and volunteer. Future me is awesome and I can’t wait to meet me!’

I feel like New Years Eve is another great opportunity to getting a little closer to the authentic life we are all searching for. But so is every other day! Last month I signed up for a Yoga conference I have been meaning to attend for a long time now. This morning I went online and registered to take a CPR class that I should have under my belt if I want to be furthering my education in the path I am following. Every morning that I make myself ‘get on the mat’ or go for a run or a walk is a mini resolution to keep working towards that ultimate goal of not being skinny or wiser, but listening to my authentic self who is everyday trying to reveal itself to me. When I choose happiness over drama, kindness over gossip or hard work over easy out I am closer to the real authentic me. There are a million ways to do it. Does it feel right? Does it make you happy? (And not in a fleeting pleasure way but true happiness that you feel in your heart.) I am learning to listen! It’s exciting; every morning we wake up is another opportunity for a resolution. Maybe I should start sporting the paper hats and horns all the time?

Practice

“We learn by practice. Whether it means to learn to dance by practicing dancing or to learn to live by practicing living, the principles are the same. One becomes in some area an athlete of God.”- Martha Graham

Practice, Practice, Practice.  Not only is it necessary for you to give everything you’ve got when practicing to be great in the sport of your choosing it is also what we all have to do in everyday life.

Yoga is a practice. It will never be perfect but it’s challenging yourself to give your personal best every time.  As well as understanding that every time is different. Sometimes postures that are difficult will open right up for you. Sometimes, you can’t for the life of you stand on one foot. Who knows why? The important thing is to not beat your self up about what you can or cannot do and move on. Try, try again tomorrow.

This holds true with everything in life. Our faith, our relationships, our own happiness. We have to practice getting it right everyday. No one is perfect. Forgive our selves and each other our shortcomings. Fell off the horse? Shake it off and get back on and don’t look back.

I tell my kids when they are in a bad mood, fake it till you make it. Put a smile on your face. Just try it. It may not feel comfortable at first. That’s ok; you don’t have to be on 100 percent every minute of everyday. You are human, but keep trying.

I conducted a little experiment at the mall the other day.  Its holiday time, stress is high, funds are flying out the door. Not everyone is feeling the Christmas spirit at all times. I certainly didn’t feel like being in the crowded mall. So I walked around with a smile on my face and didn’t avoid eye contact with the people I passed by. My thinking was if my positive attitude could make someone else smile then it would make me feel better about being there. I wasn’t running around staring at people with a big dumb grin on my face, I just casually went about my business with a pleasant smile. I remember my Dad saying to me on picture day in first grade as I was leaving for school he said, “Don’t forget to smile with your eyes. That’s the real smile.” I always remembered that and when I am being my authentic self it shows in the smile in my eyes.

I was waiting on the incredibly long line at Starbucks to get a little caffeine in me with my smile on my face and this nice older gentleman waiting over by the pick up counter said across the store, “What a beautiful smile you have! Don’t ever loose that!” I almost cried! It worked; someone was actually affected by my little experiment. I have to say it put a spring in my step and I went about my business happy to be alive and well and at the mall during another beautiful Christmas season.

Students First

“Too often students are given answers to remember, rather than problems to solve”
 Roger Lewin

Please check out this website and pledge your support. You may have seen Michelle Rhee on Oprah. She is the former Chancellor of D.C. public schools. A controversial figure who took on the cause of changing an antiquated system that clearly is not working, America's public school system. With help from all of us, together we will change the future of our children. Whether they go to Public School or not. If we truly are all connected then wouldn't it benefit all of us to have all the children of the wealthiest country in the world have access to the greatest education? If we raise a whole generation of educated, free thinking, happy, confident children, isn't that going to work in all of our favor? Check it out!   Students First

Acupuncture

You can never worry your way to enlightenment.  ~Terri Guillemets

Interesting... Had my very first experience with acupuncture this week. I went in with an open mind. My husband had just gone to the good Doctor a few days before with help for quitting smoking. And although I don't consider myself a smoker, apparently in reality I am. I have been known to smoke when I'm having cocktails so...if Mark, who is a REAL smoker was quitting, I suppose I could knock out those cocktail hour smokes no problem. He made an appointment for me when he made his own and I went in not really knowing what to expect.

I was met by a very nice man of Cuban decent, (he told me). He was a snappy dresser with a very nice office with a receptionist in a professional medical building. No incense or anything else one might stereotypically associate with a man of Chinese medicine and acupuncture. I filled out the usual paperwork when going to a new doctor for the first time and he led me back to a small room with two comfortable chairs facing each other.

What came next was fascinating. We had about a 1-hour conversation, which felt more like a therapeutic session. He asked me about my childhood, my life, and myself now. How I felt when I had that cigarette. I was open and honest with him. I do truly believe that there is no sense in not being completely honest since my ultimate goal is to help him, help me. I said when I sit down at the end of the day and I pour that glass of wine that, (ok, I am being honest…I don’t necessarily want but I have anyway. I’m evolving slowly but surely.) Anyway, I digress. I told him when I sit down with that glass of wine and I light that cigarette, I feel..relief. Like a lot of women, like a lot of people, I suppose, it’s the first time during the day that I give myself permission to relax. A glass of wine and a cigarette equals relaxation time. We had a great conversation, he was very insightful and after about an hour of getting to know why I smoke and why I want to stop he brought me into what he called, the Frankenstein room. The first thing he had me do was stick out my tongue. He brought out a mirror and had me look and pointed out that when I stuck my tongue out it had a slight tremor to it. He explained that this internal wind was showing him that like a duck, I might appear calm, cool and collected on the outside; inside I had a lot of anxiety and stress. REALLY? Who wouldda thunk it? Like most “good girls”, I have forged through life not really dealing with things that potentially gave me stress or anxiety. (Who me? I am FINE!! Tough as nails, right as rain. Thanks for asking!) I don’t think I recognized my natural state as being the least bit stress filled or anxious. How do you recognize true calm if you don’t know what its like not to live with a twinge of anxiety at all times? (And I thought I was so ZEN!) He told me he would help me quiet that wind and not feel the need to self medicate to quiet it for me. INTERESTING! OK, I’m game for any and all enlightenment. Bring it.

I entered a warm room with a massage type table in the center and vials, bottles and jars lining the counter top. He said ok, this is where we make you bleed profusely. I looked at him for a split second and we both laughed and then he said, “No seriously, take off all your clothes and wrap these two towels around your top and bottom. Jewelry goes in the bowl on the desk.” He quickly left the room while I was still laughing, quickly realizing, he was in fact not kidding and I had to take off all my clothes and wrap up in these two what looked to me now like hand towels and lie on the table. I quickly undressed because whenever a doctor tells me he or she will give me a few minutes I race like they are waiting outside the door to burst in on me and catch me with one leg in my pants and one leg out hopping around frantically. Playing doctor jokes. So I secured the towels and was lying there breathing deeply when suddenly I realized I still had my wedding ring and watch on. AHHH! So now its like two whole minutes later and what do I do? He clearly told me to put my jewelry in the bowl on the desk. Shit! So I hopped off the table, clutching both towels but of course both towels fall by the wayside. Now I am holding both of them up while trying to quickly put my jewelry in said bowl. I am flailing around spastically; I hobble as quickly as I can back to the table and jump back up, arranging the towels demurely and wait for my doctor. Apparently I had plenty of time because 5 freezing minutes later he finally walked in.

He put about 3 needles in each foot, 2 on either calf, one right above my belly button 2 or 3 in each ear, 1 in either wrist and the last one was right in the middle of my chest. I immediately felt like my lungs were clear and opened like they have never been before. He left me alone like that for what seemed like a few minutes and then came back in and had me do some visualizations and what seemed like a little hypnosis techniques. 2 hours later I left with some calming tablets he concocted for me that he wants me to take 3 times a day. This is day 2. I feel great. I don’t know if he will be the cure or if it really comes down to making a good decision for myself. In any case I am ready and I loved the experience. Loving this path, its so interesting. Thanks for sharing it with me.

Gandhi's 7 Social Sins

FREEDOM IS NOT WORTH HAVING IF IT DOES NOT INCLUDE THE FREEDOM TO MAKE MISTAKES.- Gandhi

I was recently reading Gandhi’s seven social sins and I thought it was so timely I wanted to share it. They are…

Politics with out Principle

Wealth with out Work

Pleasure with out Conscience

Knowledge with out Character

Commerce with out Morality

Science with out Humanity

Religion with out Sacrifice

Politics with out Principle. You cannot turn on the television these days without seeing one political party bashing another. It has gotten to the point that every time I see it on TV it reminds me of siblings who are going at it and wont stop. It can make you literally want to scream in frustration for them to both shut up. A Principle is by definition, a fundamental truth that serves as a foundation for a system of beliefs or behavior or a chain of reasoning. Our country was based on this. Natural Law, certain rights, values and morals are inherent in all human beings.

http://www.ushistory.org/declaration/document/

LIFE, LIBERTY AND THE PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS. Go back and read the Declaration of Independence. It speaks so loud but we are not hearing it.

Wealth with out Work. True wealth, which is not monetary but during these troubling times in our economy you could take that as an example. You may have riches but do you really feel WEALTHY?Maybe not, unless you put the time, effort and sweat equity into doing something worthwhile that you truly believe in. If you don’t put authentic effort into raising your children they will still grow up but will they be everything they could be? If you don’t put the time and effort into making your marriage work will you still be married in 20 years? Maybe, but will it be the relationship that you want it to be? Everything worthwhile takes work. That is true wealth.

Pleasure with out conscience. What’s in it for me? Doing something that will please ones self with out caring about the consequence of how it will effect those around you. I don’t even think I need to elaborate on this one.

Knowledge with out character. If you know better you must do better.

Commerce with out morality. What happened to the “Gentleman’s Agreement” of the handshake? If you have to ever justify or explain to yourself or anyone else why you did something, or handled something a certain way then you may want to rethink the way you handle your transactions. Just think to yourself, would my grandfather or grandmother be proud of me for doing that? It simplifies everything very quickly.

Science with out humanity. I think no other example that shows the dangers of this social sin more than the techno age we are all living in and trying to navigate our children through. The Internet is still a baby and already it is a tool very few people can live with out. Facebook, bbm, twitter all remarkable tools if used properly.  As Einstein said, “It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity. And he didn’t even KNOW about Facebook!! When we forget that real human beings are on the other end of what is put out there it becomes a dangerous tool.

Religion with out sacrifice. Do you attend religous services but don’t exactly live your life according to what is being spoken there? How many people do we know who sit in the front row week after week and justify the way they live their lives by saying, “But I go to church every week and I sit in the front row. I AM a good person! Everyone can see that.” It happens everyday. Should these people be condemned? Lord no! He who is without sin may cast the first stone. No one is perfect and every minute of everyday is a chance for you to start over and be the amazing person you were meant to be. That being said, it isnt always easy to do. No one is perfect but we can keep trying!

We are all human and we all make mistakes. These are my interpretations of what these seven social sins mean. I am no expert on morality, I make mistakes probably more than the next person. But I will never, never, never give up trying. I invite anyone who reads this to leave his or her own opinion or elaborate on what was already said. The beauty of this life is that we do have the ability to learn from our mistakes and we can start over every minute of everyday. It is one of the miracles of life I believe.

Using Social Media

“This is no longer a gimmick. This is how the American people want to receive their news and want to hear from us.” – Nick Schaper, new-media representative for House Minority Leader John Boehner




I know, I know...I just recently wrote a blog on the dangers of Facebook. I still think some people use it for evil instead of good. That being said however, I recently read an amazing book called Crush It! By a man named Gary Vanerchuk. It is a very interesting take on the future of business and how to use social media to make money doing what you are passionate about. The very thought of doing EXACTLY what you want and what you love is like receiving a gift. Being fulfilled and happy day in and day out and having your PASSION be the very thing that allows you to CRUSH IT! AMAZING!!
I am lucky that I found my passion. Think about what your passion is. No matter if its stamp collecting, sports, knitting, wood working or creating new cocktails to serve at parties you can become the voice of your passion through hard work and dedication. This book is very inspiring. I gifted the audiobook to my college age daughter. She is about to make her mark on the world and she knows how to utilize social media. This book was made for her and people like her. (and I don't mean young because regardless of your age you can learn to crush it!) Why do we buy TIDE and SKIPPY and KLEENEX? Why do we stop at Stop signs and not at Green squares on a pole? Because we have been conditoned to recognize these brands and symbols. You could go to another country and see these same words written in a different language and still understand what it means because it is ingrained in our minds. This book explains how with hard work you can literally brand yourself and make your passion your profession. Check it out, maybe gift it to someone you love who has a passion they could easily make into a profession. What a gift! Crush It!

Beautiful Sermon

My friend Larry shared this sermon he wrote with me and I asked his permission if I could share it with you. He said yes so please take a moment to read this beautiful message. You can check out more of his thoughtful insights at his blog  http://onlyconnectnow.blogspot.com/
We are all human so naturally we will have moments (or even years) of anger and resentment. The thought of forgiving people, (even ourselves) who have deeply hurt us seems sometimes an impossible feat. But like yoga, (and even medicine!), it takes a devoted practice to start learning how to forgive. Read my friend Larry's sermon and give it a try. What have you got to lose? Except carrying around negative feelings that don't do anything except make us feel badly in so many ways. Hmmmmm, why not. Thank you Larry.




Good Morning!

I am delighted to be back here at the Shelter Island Presbyterian Church. It is always wonderful to sit in this beautiful sanctuary and it is a real honor to come with an invitation to fill in for my good friend Pastor Bill. I remember having breakfast with Bill last summer when he said right out of the clear blue, “Would you be willing to give a sermon some time at the church?” To which I replied, “What do you have in mind?” and without hesitating he said, “August 23rd is what I have in mind.” Well I did give the sermon last August and after another meal with Bill a few weeks ago I find myself back here again at his request.

Last time when I was here I spoke about how we are all connected and how we all share the common tread of our humanness. Today I was inspired by the scripture reading to talk about Anger and Resentments. A subject that sadly, I know a great deal about.

I love today’s scripture reading. Luke offers some beautiful insights to lead a long and happy life.
He starts off by inviting us to “love our enemies” a very tall order indeed. Historically I have gotten too caught up in my righteous indignation or worse, my anger and resentments to ever consider the idea of loving those that have wronged me.

I was always certain they owed me an apology instead of considering that I might apologize to them for holding these thoughts.

We think that by giving people our worst thoughts, our worst words, our worst actions or the silent treatment that we are hurting them, but the truth is we are hurting ourselves far more. There are many methods for dealing with this problem and one of the very best is a meditation practiced by Buddhists.

In their meditation practice they silently send kind and loving thoughts, firstly, to those they know and love most dearly, secondly, to those they barely know or are complete strangers to and lastly to those who they despise or have anger and resentments towards.

This practice develops a kind and loving attitude towards all people and is one way I have learned to lessen my anger and resentments and hopefully to lead a longer and happier life.

I cannot achieve this healthy, happy life by holding anger and resentments towards others. When I have looked closely at anger and resentments I have come to realize that they are very poisonous. And……this poison has proven to be the most harmful to me.

Anger and resentments are self-induced poison. Like the Buddhist meditation practice of sending kind and loving thoughts to those we hold resentments towards, Luke offers a similar cure. In today’s scripture Luke tells us “…to love our enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.”

This lesson for me came late in life. I was 52 years old when I began changing my story. The story about what a difficult childhood I had and what a sorry, wretched father I had. You could easily detect the anger and resentments that I was holding towards him and it didn’t take much to ascertain how the pain from this poison was eating me up and slowly killing me. By finally realizing this I was able to see how all my bad feelings weren’t hurting him, after all, he’d been dead for many years, but they were making my life and the lives of those around me miserable. Imagine that, I was quite literally making my own life miserable and the lives of those around me miserable, all the while trying to blame it on others, my difficult childhood, and my father. The problem the whole time was directly in front of me. The problem was staring me right in the face. The problem was in the mirror. Finally, and with much relief, I came to realize that the solution could be found in the same place.

Instead of sending angry and resentful thoughts out into this world, I began a practice of sending kind and loving thoughts out into this world. More specifically, I began sending kind and loving thoughts to those I had the most difficulty with and high on that list was my father. Slowly but surely my life has changed. I am happier and healthier. To those around me I have become someone to share a life with. I am no longer stuck in the grip of self-induced pain and---most wonderfully---I have experienced what Luke goes on to say will happen as a result of loving my enemies. He writes:

“Then your rewards will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High.”

Well my rewards are unbelievably great and I’ve come to think of myself as a son of the Most High.
My rewards are unbelievably great and far too numerous to share with you now. But…I would like to share one very important reward with you----I am happy---and---I am in love with my father again; my father who resides in me, my father who raised me and the father I’ve become to my own children.

This is a gift of unbelievable magnitude. Luke knew it and Luke tried to share it with us. “Do not judge,” he wrote, “and you will not be judged. Do not condemn and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you.” These beautiful, simple words had been available to me for half a century. They are the absolute medicine and the cure for what had ailed me for so long. After years of frustration and poisonous thoughts I am finally beginning to understand the truth of Luke’s words.
Do not judge and you will not be judged. Do not condemn and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you.

Two summers ago I was sitting on the beach re-reading The Meditations by Marcus Aurelius. This timeless classic, written sometime around 160 AD, has been one of my bibles. I remember reading these words, which very well could have been influenced by the words of Luke: “Discard the thought of injury and the words ‘I have been injured’ are gone; discard the words ‘I have been injured,’ and the injury is gone.”

I felt so injured for so long and now, having discarded the words and the thoughts of injury, my anger and resentments have been lifted. They have been lifted and replaced with kind and loving words and thoughts, for my father, for those around me and for myself.

All great teachers over the centuries have written about the power of love. They have offered their thoughts to cures for anger and resentments. Most notably these have included the practice of loving kindness.

Luke’s simple advice, were it to be taken-up by all, would surely change the world. To love our enemies, to love those who have wronged us, to love those who we hold anger and resentments towards.

The Russian writer Fyodor Dostoyevsky wrote:

Love all of God’s creation, the whole of it and every grain of sand. Love every leaf, every ray of God’s light! Love the animals, love the plants, love everything. If you love everything, you will perceive the divine mystery in things. And once you have perceived it, you will begin to comprehend it ceaselessly, more and more every day. And you will at last come to love the whole world with an abiding, universal love.

My favorite quote on this subject, one Luke would most assuredly have agreed with, comes from Mahatma Gandhi who wrote these very simple, very direct, very unambiguous words:

Love is the strongest force the world possesses.

Today this force is alive and well in me. It is a very strong force. It is not so strong that I don’t fall prey to anger and resentments, however. But when I find these anger and resentments boiling up in me I try and turn to those that I hold them against and offer an apology. I apologize for holding these thoughts. I tell the other person that I don’t want to hold these thoughts, that these thoughts are poison and I don’t want any poison in me or my thoughts, I only want to share a kind and loving attitude towards this person and I ask them for forgiveness for harboring such thoughts.
By giving this loving force to others it is given to me.

Just as Luke wrote in today’s scripture:

“Give and it will be given to you.

A good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap; for the measure you give will be the measure you get back.”                    

                                       


                             

My Day With the Dalai

My religion is very simple; my religion is kindness-The Dalai Lama

I received an invitation in the mail to go to the arena at the University of Miami to hear His Holiness, the 14^th Dalai Lama give a talk entitled, The Quest for Happiness in Challenging Times.

Being busy doing other things, I never responded and then one day I was feeling like I had not been ‘attending’ to myself for awhile, I took another look at the invite on my desk and decided to call the night before to see if by some chance I could still get a ticket. The woman on the phone told me I could and said there would be a ticket waiting for me at will call. So the next morning I got in the car put in The Four Agreements to listen to one more time, (another blog another day), had a latte and drove the hour and a half by myself down to the University. (Pretty heavenly so far…)

I was so shocked when I went to Will Call and got my ticket when they directed me not to the nosebleeds but right down to the left of the stage. I had perfect view of his chair! WOW! So cool, so I settled in and waited. The front section was reserved for the students and I was so happy to see so many young faces filling up the floor. All around the students were people of all walks of life and all ages. All with the same goal, to listen to this man and find some answers to how one finds happiness in these challenging times. It struck me as I sat and waited looking around that EVERYONE, from the students to the 70something year old woman sitting next to me, was texting or looking at their phones. (Including myself), and I thought I wonder if he will say anything about technology? I turned my phone to silence and shoved it in my bag quickly before he came out so he wouldn’t see me with it and he would realize right away that I was already very enlightened. hahaha (so self-centered!! I have things to work on)

He came out onto the stage, a small man with a huge smile. He was friendly and relaxed and so sweet. You just felt like not only did you know him but he was your favorite old Tibetan Uncle that you never got to see enough of.

He spoke for around 90 minutes. He was charming and funny. He said so many wonderful things but what I came away with was the only way you will ever find happiness is through love. People who have loving families and no money can be much happier than people who have money but not the love and attention from their families. He said part of this is due to technology in the 21^st century that has given us so much knowledge and opportunity but with opportunity comes responsibility and technology has also been the cause of great human suffering. (He was talking more about weapons and bombs not cell phones i"m pretty sure but technology just the same). As well as getting in that cycle of wanting to "have" more for your family because you love them but not spending the time with them because you have to keep working to "have" the stuff.

Our survival as a community (and by community he really is saying humanity is our community) will come from love, respect, kindness, compassion and tolerance. If we have love from our families and choose our friends wisely we will have the self-esteem to have all of these qualities for ourselves and others. What he considers the downfall of humanity is self-centered behavior. He said we would only achieve peace through inner peace. He can’t give it to us; we can’t get it from a book or a spa. It is only through love and self-esteem can we achieve this peace and then have the confidence to allow each other to be who we really are without judgment.

I could go on and on reiterating all of the wonderful things he said but that was the nutshell of happiness. Love from an early age and keep it coming. It’s the simplest and hardest thing to do, just put everything else aside and give your love to your family and wisely chosen friends and your quest for happiness will be right there. He ended with a joke…what is Birth Control for violence? Produce more Monks and Nuns!

Reiki

Natural forces within us are the true healers of disease.- Hippocrates


Over the summer I received training to become a Reiki practitioner. It was an amazing experience and I am very thankful I have this "tool" in my pocket for me, for my family and friends and for my clients. Every Reiki practitioner describes Reiki differently, since it is never the same thing twice and always different for everyone. Sometimes is deeply relaxing, other times it can give you a feeling of calm energy and rejuvenation. Its basically like a drink cozy for energy, it gives you what you need when you need it. As an old friend used to say when pondering the magic of the drink cozy, "How do it know? How do it know when you want something to stay warm and how do it know when you want it to stay cool?" Although there is an explanation for the cozy, there is no explanation for Reiki. You don't even have to believe in it, you just have to relax and have an open mind. Personally I would describe Reiki as a way to coming back to who we are really meant to be. Reiki brings balance and clarity and just makes you feel better. I don't know how it know, but it do.

So enjoy the Reiki prayer today and if you ever get a chance to have the experience please do. You stay fully clothed, sitting in a chair or laying down. it is non invasive and you don't have to say anything or do anything. Just sit back and come back to who you really are.

Just for today, do not worry.
Just for today, do not anger.
Honor your parents, teachers and elders.
Earn your living honestly.
Show gratitude to every living thing.

2012

The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.-Franklin Delano Roosevelt.

I recently went to The Beach Hut in Hampton Bays for a sunset dinner with my family and a few friends. It was heavenly, steamed clams, fried shrimp, cold beers, a guitar player and beautiful views of the Peconic Bay. Such a nice night. A man and his daughter were enjoying the same scenery and struck up conversation with a member of my family.

This man with his young daughter proceeded to tell this member of my family that the little girl, who could not have been more than four, was a psychic. She had predicted the earthquake in Haiti among other things,(Really? When my kids were four they didn’t know earthquakes existed but ok…) and he claims she has also predicted a 1000 foot wave of water will be coming in the future at some point after 2012. Hmmmmm. Don’t know about that…What I do know is I agree, a ‘wave’ is definitely coming. If this kid does indeed have some sort of gift then it was actually very appropriate for the little girl to interpret what is happening as a giant wave.  What I believe the giant wave to be is a shift in our consciousness. We are all changing and evolving and whatever happens in 2012 what the wave will be is almost like a renaissance. Getting back to being who we really are meant to be in this world. Knowing what is important and shedding the things that are not. So if a child who has psychic abilities sees that a giant wave is coming it is a very childlike, simplistic way of looking at the shift that is already taking place.

So if you have had any fear based moments thinking about 2012 please put them out of your minds. The only thing we have to fear is fear itself. It was true then when FDR said it as our country was facing the great depression and world wars. (Sound familiar?) What grew out of the rubble were opportunity, growth and wisdom. We are back to that full circle. So going forward if you look at things from a different perspective it is inevitable that if your change your mind about the way you choose to view something that is seemingly a bad situation and start to look at it as your opportunity for growth then no matter what happens it is a spiritual learning experience. With every fiber of my being I truly believe there is nothing to fear but fear itself. And if someone starts talking about 2012 and you start to worry, stop! Don't listen and walk away or turn off your tv and take a few deep breaths. As I have said before if a great belly laugh is like a mini vacation then a few deep belly breaths is like a psychiatric consult. You will feel better in no time. Stay positive!

Technology

It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.-Albert Einstein

So I am not a facebooker and I understand that social networking has become part of our culture and maybe I should "get with the times." C'Mon! Everybody is doing it!!
Quite frankly I am apprehensive to join for many reasons. I already feel like the Blackberry and the computer take up way to much time in my life. I love the blog as I use this venue as a way to share meaningful and positive messages with whomever wants to read it (take what you want and leave the rest!).
 Wouldn't I already be in touch with the good old friends that I wanted to be in touch with? Don't people come in and out of your life at certain times to teach you certain things about life and yourself and then they go out as mysteriously as they came and you have memories good or bad of your shared experiences. I would much rather have my memories of the good old days then documented evidence. Just for bad hair reasons alone. Do we have to keep in contact with people we were never meant to keep around in the first place? If I were to join and heard from an old friend who posted a message on my wall, is that really making a human connection? Texting, BBM, email, postings. I think it is the downfall of our civilization as we know it. Human beings are not holding themselves accountable for the words they type into cyber space while they sit home alone in front of their computers with false bravery. A friend who is a therapist has told me that almost everyone she has as a client in marriage counseling is trying to come back together from a Facebook affair.
Things seem kind of hard in the marriage, bloom is off the rose? Hey, wait a minute! Remember Johnny from high school. I wonder what he is up to these days? And so on...

Not to mention the kids! The rumors of high school seniors panicking about drinking pictures being viewed by perspective college admissions offices are widespread. I know a young college grad who took a day off to go to a party out of state and lied about it to his bosses. To bad he wasn't smart enough to untag himself from the photos. (Uh, this doesn't look like your grandmothers funeral!!)

The pictures that will follow you for the rest of your days is now in the back of every kids head every time they head out the door. Everyone has built in cameras on their phones and no one is getting away with anything. Good or bad. (I wonder who will be left to run for office in 20 years?) Not that everyone is constantly up to no good, of course they are not. But why does everything have to be documented? Picture sharing is a convenient, fast way to show everyone what you are up to. Some things are just best left off the Internet.

Not to mention the younger kids who lie about their ages to create illegal facebook accounts. There is just something really dangerous about letting kids free in such a morally bankrupt environment. Facebook says you have to be in your 14th year, to create an account. MAYBE by 14 you will hopefully have the moral compass up and running and the self esteem to not engage in cybor fighting, bullying and trash talk. How many times in this last year did we hear on the news about young kids killing themselves over being cyber bullied? Kids would never say the same thing to someones face that they would home alone in front of the computer. Adults too for that matter.
We are losing our storytellers. The people who hold court at a party and tell a great story! All anyone has to do is pull out their electronic of choice and just show you what they want to convey. I don't have to explain it, its right there in living color, see!
I am just as guilty of having my phone in my hands most of the time. I say its so I can be in constant contact with my kids. That backfires to. When I was a kid and I got a flat or missed a bus I had to figure it out. I became resourceful. Now, no reason to figure anything out. Just call for help and someone will figure this out for me! Voila! Problem solved. I remain optimistic for the future of our children. Cautiously optimistic but optimistic none the less. I am going to walk the walk and put my phone in one spot and keep it there. If someone really wants to find me they will.

I'M BACK!

Procrastination is something best put off until tomorrow.

It has been awhile since my last blog. I got an email last night from a follower who asked me What did the cat get your tongue? Haha! Yes! That is exactly what happened. I took a few weeks to smell the roses. I taught my yoga classes, went to the beach, hung out with my kids and their friends and my friends. The blog always in the back of my mind. I was thinking about adding to it all the time. (I should be doing....) Anytime I add should to the beginning of my sentence I run the risk of becoming judgy of myself.

I have been doing a guided meditation with a client this summer and one thing I always come back to is the object of the journey is self-acceptance, self-love, and self-forgiveness. As well as accepting, loving and forgiving the people in your life. So although I am ready to come back to the routine of logging on and sharing stories that will support, encourage and inspire it was nice to just chill and not think about much but just being. I will accept the fact that I needed to take time out to enjoy a few weeks of summer. I will love every moment I get to spend with friends and family and I will forgive myself for not being as productive as I could have been this summer. It was fun!

So try this, next time you are feeling guilty because you SHOULD be doing something take a deep breath and as you exhale say, I forgive myself. Just saying the words will release the self imposed tension. I am happy to be back in the saddle so check back soon!

summer yoga mix

Belly Breathing

I truly believe that if a good laugh is like a mini vacation than a few good deep breaths are like a few hours of therapy. It is miraculous how deep belly breathing can change your mind, which in turn changes everything. The quality of your experience comes from the thoughts you create in your mind so think good thoughts and the way to do that is to come back to your breath.

We all have stress, fear, anxiety and worry. We are human so we are conditioned to have these feelings. Once you are aware of the fact that these feelings are creeping in then take a moment and breathe. Place your hands on your abdomen as you inhale deeply feel your belly expand and as you exhale feel your belly contract. During the exhale once you think your done, just try squeezing a little more air out. Everyone is always more interested in the inhale but the more air you are able to squeeze out of the exhale the more you train your intercostal muscles to automatically take in more oxygen on the inhale without even thinking about it.

As you inhale think love, acceptance, gratitude and forgiveness and as you exhale just release any negative thoughts or feelings you are carrying around with you. You may not particularly feel love, acceptance, gratitude and forgiveness but just saying these words to yourself while breathing deeply will create a shift that you will feel.

I was visiting with friends recently, and the dad had to  deal with a temper tantrum his son was having. He was really frustrated and just stepped outside to take a few breaths and get some space. He came back in about 10 minutes later and looked at me with a surprised face and said, "This breathing thing really works!" I said, "I know! Its crazy!" So check it out, anytime your starting to listen to those negative thoughts in your head or a stressful situation occurs, start the belly breathing. Its easier to change your mind than you think!

INSTINCTS

 Instinct is untaught ability-Alexander Bain

Learn to trust your instincts. Spiders don’t go to spider web school. Birds don’t attend Bird nest making camp. They just instinctively know from the very fiber of their being what it is they are meant to do. I think we do to, but we are conditioned not to because we have to fit in with the societal standards of what everyone else thinks we should be doing.

I can’t tell you how many conversations I have with people who have said to me, “I would love to do……….” But I can’t.”

Why? Because by the time we have lived life enough to know who we are and what our calling to ourselves really is we have already had a job for 15 years and we can’t switch jobs or lines of work because (a) We need the financial security of a steady paycheck and (b) What would people think?

I understand (a) financial stability. Who wants to give up finer things in life for a gamble? What if I follow my dreams and I fail? Then I don’t have the security. I am too afraid to try; I will stay right where I am. This is “FINE” and in 30 more years I will retire and do what I want. For just a moment, think about, What if I follow my dreams and I succeed far beyond my wildest dreams because I am actually passionate about what it is I am doing. If your passionate about what you do, there is no way you could ever fail. Even if you don’t make more money than you could ever dream of spending, you also wouldn’t feel like you were even doing that four letter word W-O-R-K because you were so happy, grateful and appreciative that you got to do what you loved every single day. Look at so many people who grind it out every day for their whole lives and finally retire and get sick and die in a year. We have all heard stories like that. Seize the day, do what you love and love what you do.

‘I can’t what about the kids’. What about the kids? I think kids pick up on energy way before anyone gives them credit for. Never fight in front of the kids but have WWIII’s in the garage away from prying ears? Guess what, they pick up on it. (Not ok to have WWIII in front of them either but healthy, respectful disagreements are apart of life!) Do you sometimes feel like your living an inauthentic life but we have to do it to have all these nice THINGS that the kids need to be happy. Kids need love to be happy and that is all they need. If you feel love and someone has faith in you that you are not so insecure that you will be unhappy if you don’t have the latest fashion trend or toy, its actually empowering them. You are saying, I actually think way more of you than to think you need THINGS in order to be a happy, well rounded, good person. You are a kick ass kid no matter what you wear or what you play with or where you play it.

Then we come to (b) what would people think??  I have said it before, THE QUALITY OF THE LIFE YOU LEAD REVOLVES AROUND YOUR SELF-ESTEEM. You can live a rich, happy and fulfilling life doing what inspires you and in turn others will be inspired or you can do what your parents, spouse, co-workers and peers say you should do. I lived like that for a long time and I noticed I became really resentful. I resented myself and I didn’t even know why. I resented my spouse, friends and family and again, I had no idea why. All I knew was that I wasn’t happy and I didn’t know how to make myself happy. I knew happiness was a choice to be made but how do you make that choice when you don’t know what true happiness feels like? I know what fleeting happiness feels like! I felt it every time I bought new shoes or planned a trip or got invited to a big party or something like that but as soon as the excitement wore off, I felt unhappy or unsatisfied again. Why? I had everything anyone would or could ever want! After years of being a busy mom my kids were growing up and I actually had time for myself! What was wrong with me? Like most shifts that occur in people’s lives it took a monumental change like moving to a new state to bring about a monumental shift. Usually it is God working in mysterious ways. When something happens and we say, oh no, why is this happening to me? But if you are looking carefully you will notice pretty quickly why something happens. Usually spiritual or emotional growth is a side effect of a shift. You can squeeze your eyes wide shut and choose not to see what is going on around you or you can notice the change, embrace it and go with it. I went with it. What I found was, I knew how to be happy all along I just wasn’t paying attention to what truly makes me happy, (or rather how I can make myself happy!). I am learning to trust my instincts. I actually know inherently what is best for me. I am learning to listen to my body because it doesn’t lie to me. When I trust my instincts and I am doing what is right for me and not what is right for anyone else I feel like I am moving on all cylinders. It isn’t easy! We want to be good kids, husbands, wives, parents and friends. We don’t want to be rude. We want everyone to like us and think we are great. We want to be responsible and do what is right for our family and friends. If we all had the self-esteem God intended for us to have we would all be respectful and at ease with other people’s decisions to live their lives the way they see fit. Not what we as a society “think” they should be doing, but what their own instincts tell them they should do. And know that just because someone does something different it doesn’t mean that they are being judgmental that what you are doing is wrong. Individual instincts, we were all born with specific talents and specific purposes. Listen to your instincts and find out what that means to you.

Beautiful

Yesterday I led a group of young women in a yoga class. There were eight young ladies, two of them being my own daughters, who showed up. Music is important to me and I always have what I consider a great play list going for my classes. Especially when I am teaching kids, they respond to music, its their thing. So be it from the Glee soundtrack or something new I use what I think they will respond to, to help me get their attention.

These group of girls ranged in age 12 to 15. They came in very giggly but ready to go with great attitudes. We went through most of the 45 minute class, (any longer and I was afraid I would lose them), and just as we are getting ready for shivasana, the hardest pose of the day for energetic, healthy young girls of summer, Christina Aguilera's song Beautiful comes on. (I encouraged singing along to the play list if at anytime the feeling came to them but before that I think no one wanted to be the one to blurt anything out other than, 'oh, I love this song!') All of the sudden these girls all at once just started singing at the top of their lunges, loud and proud. It was as the song is entitled, so beautiful. I could have cried. Yes girls! This is the goal! Be yourselves, free from what anyone else thinks, says or does. Independent, unafraid, courageous, free thinking, beautiful girls. After an hour of being on the mat together they were all united. Great positive energy flowing through the room, from them and for them. It was a moment I will never forget. After the song was over they miraculously settled down immediately and got right into relaxation, almost like exuding that last bit of energy did the trick. they ended with hands at heart center, in a bow with a Namaste. A little step closer to having them all be in their own 75 degree, sunny with a breeze world.

 Read the lyrics the girl's belted out

Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, i saw debris
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone left the puzzle undone
That's the way it is

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down
Don't you bring me down today...

No matter what we do
(no matter what we do)
No matter what they say
(no matter what they say)
When the sun is shining through
Then the clouds won't stay


And everywhere we go
(everywhere we go)
The sun won't always shine
(sun won't always shine)
But tomorrow will find a way
All the other times

'cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down
Don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.  ~Mark Twain,

Today is my 41^st birthday. I don’t mind getting older in fact, I welcome it. With each year a little softer, (my personality and my body), a little wiser, a little more tolerant and patient in some ways and intolerant and impatient in others. I have a beautiful family and wonderful friends. I have no time for BS and all the time in the world for people I love.

(Is it bad by the way that the first email I woke up to was ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM WINE.COM’-haha)

I brought my daughter to check out her first apartment yesterday. Funny how cyclical it all is. It is now her time to experience all that life has to offer, and for me to draw on my experiences. I look on with pride and excitement for all that she has waiting for her and I look back with happiness at the life we have shared in this family to get her to this exciting and wonderful place. I consider myself blessed for sure that I have no regrets. Every single thing that has happened in this life has been absolutely necessary to get us to the place we are today. I am 41 years old and have been a mother all of my adult life. Not the easiest of challenges but none the less one that I thank GOD for everyday. We have managed to raise kind, thoughtful, empathetic, funny, great people. People I want to hang out with. (Is that why people have kids? So when you get older and less tolerant of other people’s personalities you have a nice little set of your own people to hang out with?? Brilliant!)

The greatest gift I could ever receive I have already had all along. The love of a wonderful family, from the one that raised me to the one I am raising. Which goes back to the prayer I like to say to myself with every deep inhalation, ‘I already have everything I need, and I am exactly where I am meant to be’. And with every exhalation ‘Thank you’.

Breathing Mediatation for a busy life

Sit in a quiet place, preferably in nature but a chair inside is good to. If your inside, light a candle and place it in front of you so you can focus your gaze on something and not get distracted. If your outside, pick a focal point or you can just close your eyes either way. Spine straight, shoulders relaxed. Palms on your lap face up, fingers curled. Soften your face, tongue behind your top teeth, teeth parted, lips parted, chin slightly tucked, feet planted on the ground.

Take in a deep inhale, your belly should rise as you inhale and fall as you exhale. just concentrate on the sound of your breath coming in and out of your body. Envision it as positive energy, a golden light coming in through your nostrils and going through your whole body and when you exhale, any negative energy, emotions, feelings comes out of your nostrils and out of your body, until all that is there is positive golden light energy.

If your mind wanders, that's OK, your human. Just notice the thought and put it away for later or forget about it! You may want to pick a mantra. For example, as you breath in you can say, I am exactly where I am meant to be and as you breath out you can say to yourself, Thank you. Practice this for 10 minutes, leading up to longer as you become more at ease with taking time out for yourself. No justifications or excuses necessary, its good for you so just do it.

The Nature Lyceum

I attended Jeff Frank's, (my dad), Nature Lyceum class this week. I took the 2 day Seminar in organics in an old meeting house on Sound Avenue. It was great. Very interesting. Great speakers, fascinating subject matter, beautiful organic lunch provided, I loved it. If you are a home-owner, or you work in the green industry or you are a parent or a grand parent, an animal lover or anyone who cares, (and you really should care) you should check out this course. It is a lot of information, and some of it is a little out there by today's standards. You definitely have to have an open heart and an open mind but once you do you will be glad you went. Really everything that is taught is going back to the beginning. What our ancestors used to practice. What the Native Americans practiced forever. We are all from one source, including the earth, plants, trees and animals everything is connected. We need to honor each other and ourselves in order to move forward. It is no secret that our environment is in a very frightening state of affairs. We can change things, if we have the information. And they have the information.

If you have an open mind then check it out. If you don't but you know someone who does, tell them about it and maybe they will let you in on what they learned. We are all in this together, let's help each other out. You can follow the link at the bottom of the blog to The Nature Lyceum.

Just say No!

Do you tend to automaticaly say yes to things people ask you to do? I am all for being a faithful friend but an un-faithful yes to something doesn't make anyone feel good. Your body doesn't lie to you, learn to feel the signals your body gives you and honor yourself. Go with your gut. If someone asks you to do something you don't want to do, its OK to listen to what your body is saying and give them a respectful no. I'm sorry, I won't be able to do that for you. No justifications or excuses necessary. Just a friendly no. In turn you will be saying yes to your own well-being.

The Shift

Every new beginning is from some other beginnings end.- Semisonic

When you feel a transformation happening it is our first instinct to ignore, run and hide from it. I remember watchng The Simpsons with my kids years ago and Marge said, "I'm sorry sir, I don't mean to be rude but we fear change." Ah Marge, that old sage. It is a scary thing to do but try to embrace a change. Think of it as a way to let your spirit grow. Open hearted awreness will allow you to see your own transformation. As Jon Kabot Zinn has said, Bearing witness changes everything. 

If it seems like its hard then your doing it right! I say to my kids all the time, nothing worthwhile should come that easy. It is very easy to cover your eyes and ears and say, 'nananana I can't hear you or see you!' but as humans we are the species that knows and we know that we know. (ya know?)

I am going to try to get out of my own way and embrace whatever happens next and know it is exactly where I am meant to be.

People Really Like Milk music video by our friend Billy Kelly

Generosity of Spirit

 There is overwhelming evidence that the higher the level of self-esteem, the more likely one will be to treat others with respect, kindness and generosity.-Nathaniel Branden

What is your potential for generosity? How far are you willing to take it?  Surprisingly enough, just like most everything it seems, your potential for generosity is rooted in your self-esteem.

It is an absolute act of generosity to donate financially to a cause you believe in. The only way charities stay in ‘business’ is by generous donations from kind people who believe in their cause. How far are you willing to go with your generosity of spirit?

I recently read a book by Carolyn Myss entitled, Acts of Power. In it she tells a story where one of her clients was telling her in all honesty that if a friend were in trouble and asked him for $1000.00 dollars to pay bills and put food on his table for a month he wouldn’t blink and eye. He would write him a check on the spot. But, he said, if he asked me for the same amount of money to invest in a business he was starting I probably wouldn’t do it. Why she asked him? He replied very honestly and said, “Because I will help someone get by, but I don’t want to help someone pass me by.”

Interesting. Do you have enough self-esteem to not only watch people in your life exceed you in business or sports or education, whatever the case may be, but to also support, inspire and encourage them to do so? That is one self-assured person! It’s funny because if you don’t know someone, if there is no energetic connection to a person then his or her success potential has no effect on you what so ever. I don’t personally know Steve Jobs, Jay-Z, Gwyneth Paltrow, Lady GaGa or Graeme McDowell, (the nice Irish lad who won the open last night!) so their success means nothing to me except to admire it from afar. Would I be able to have the same objective opinion about one of my best friends or family members attaining the same level of success?

This struggle starts early on and is ingrained in our psyche. When you see little children at a birthday party and finally one of the little guests can’t stand to watch his or her friend or sibling open any more brightly wrapped gifts and they burst into tears crying 'It's not FAIR!'. We can’t do that as adults even though we sometimes feel like it. Can you imagine going over to see your friends new remodeled kitchen and after taking the tour you just burst into tears? “Its not FAIR!” Wailing as your friend looks on at you horrified. Haha. That is crazy, but that is also human nature!

Even worse, ever feel a pang of HA! When someone you are supposedly friends with has some miss-fortune? Not like bone cancer miss-fortune but maybe something that in your mind brings them down a notch? Guess what, what you put out is what you get in return so every time you have a negative thought or you direct negative energy to someone, you get it right back to you. Is it worth it?

Humans are funny that way though. We’ll be best friends as long as I’m Oprah and you are Gayle! You stay right down there and I’ll stay up here above you and we won’t have any problems! Can two Oprah’s co-exist? Or, better yet, do you have the self-esteem to be Gayle? Do I have the confidence and self-esteem that no matter what anyone else does, to know who I am and be happy with myself? The way I see it is if you are my friend or a member of my family and your doing better than that positive energy is going to be surrounding me as well and I’ll do better and so on and so on. I will strive to be as generous of spirit as possible. If what you put out comes back to you, it’s a win win, right?

Watermelon & Heirloom Tomato Salad - Dr. Weil's Healthy Kitchen

Watermelon & Heirloom Tomato Salad - Dr. Weil's Healthy Kitchen

Reiki

“Breath is the bridge which connects life to consciousness, which unites your body to your thoughts.”- Thich Nhat Hanh

Reading the latest ‘Reiki News Magazine’, (I am hoping to very soon be a Reiki practitioner myself), I picked this magazine up and every article was interesting. From an article about a Reiki Master, Raven Keyes, who worked in the O.R. with Dr. Mehmet Oz, (his wife Lisa, is also a Reiki healer and he believes in energy medicine coinciding with traditional Western medicine to help facilitate post op healing). To Reiki in childbirth, for children, self- Reiki. There are Reiki healing stories from people with serious illnesses as well as articles about programs that teach Reiki to nurses to help heal patients in their care. It was a very interesting edition.

Reiki, for those of you who are like, (“Wh, What?”), is a healing practice administered by lightly laying hands on someone, you are able to channel guided energy into yourself, (self Reiki), or others. The benefits are relaxation, stress reduction, focus and clarity. As Jan Kendall says in an article entitled,  ‘REIKI MEDITATION’, its positive effects touch all levels: physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.

You may be saying, Huh? But I say, why not? I have had Reiki administered to me by my favorite Reiki Master and friend, Monika and a 30 minute session feels like a 2 hour massage when your finished. Calm, relaxed, clear and focused.  There was another article by Brenda St. Pierre entitled, ‘THE HEALING RELATIONSHIP.’  At the end of the article she described a meditation to do where you are sitting down, hands in prayer and your focus is on where your middle fingers meet. She explains in this amazing meditation practice that thoughts will come and go, but as soon as you realize you are focusing on a thought brush it aside and re-focus back to where your middle fingers meet. She ends the article with a beautiful prayer:

May you light up with joy as you encounter that constant and beloved friend that is yourself.

I loved that! Can you imagine going into the bathroom in the morning and catching a glimpse of yourself and lighting up with recognition like your meeting an old friend by chance on the street. “HEY! There you are! Yay!” (No? Me neither), so I decided to try it. At first my mind kept wandering so I thought I would recite that little prayer as a mantra to get me more focused. The first time I did as soon as I said to myself the word, JOY, my mind went from the true meaning to an inner monologue of “Joy? Palmolive, Ivory soap, I need dishwashing liquid.” So I brushed it aside and went back to my breath. It took me a few tries but eventually my deep breaths took me to a really calm and peaceful state where I was able to focus on where my middle fingers met. If at first you don’t succeed, breathe, breathe again!

Does Anbody Like It?

"As we look ahead into the next century, leaders will be those who empower others." -Bill Gates

Kess Cup was this past week. Old and new friends came out in support of The Kessenich Family MDA/ALS Center at the University of Miami. The event consists of a golf tournament at Deepdale Golf Club followed by a wonderful dinner and great party. The support people show year after year is tremendous. My husband and his brother Paul did the emceeing and they tried to not get emotional over the outpouring but its hard not to when you ‘put yourself out there’ by asking friends to financially support a cause that is so personal to you and they come through and show you with their presence and support as well as monetary support that they believe in what your doing. Affirmation is one of the basic needs we have as human beings. We need to know every once in awhile from other people, do you believe in me? It is different than seeking approval. We don’t need it to exist or to keep moving forward in a positive direction but its nice every once in awhile when you are putting yourself out there to have someone say, ‘Hey, good job.’ Its one of those Amber Gestures we need to feel in our lives. I know the Doctors, Nurses and staff at the Kess Center feel this every year the center stays open helping families with ALS as well as being on the forefront in medical research.

My friend Shannon was there. She and her husband Tommy are great old friends and she reads the blog. And she asked me, “How do you put yourself out there like that writing about yourself and life?” And I agree, it isn’t easy! But every once in awhile I get a positive affirmation and it reinforces what I already know. If it resonates with me, it will resonate with someone else out there. (Thanks Shannon! She is the same person who told me don’t be afraid to spread the blog around people will take what they want and leave the rest. Great advice and so true!)

The five basic human needs we all globally share are our need for air, water, food, human touch and affirmation. I once watched this documentary on babies. They had a little baby looking up at their mother and the baby would smile and laugh and kick with excitement looking up at the mom and the mom would give them the smiles back. This would go on for several minutes and then the mothers were instructed to not have any reaction to their babies smiling faces. The babies would give their mom the same big sweet smile but the mothers had to just look at the baby with out changing their expressions. After a few tries the babies would give up and just look away. They were not getting anything back so they just stopped trying.

When you are giving something from your heart, as human beings we need to feel the positive affirmation in return. Remember this with your spouse, kids, friends, siblings, parents, dry cleaner anyone who is doing something from the heart. Who doesn’t feel like a million bucks when someone lets them know, I appreciate what your doing, thank you.

For some reason we throw these words around like man hole covers. “Well why would I say good job. They know they are doing a good job; I don’t have to say it to them. That’s embarrassing that I am admitting I thought about that.” Don’t be embarrassed to put yourself out there. Just do it, you have nothing to lose.  The worst thing that could happen is that someone doesn’t agree with you. That happens everyday so who cares? Have heartfelt moments throughout your day. Empower someone who inspires you with a heartfelt affirmation. We are all in this together.

Steve Jobs' 2005 Stanford Commencement Address

My St. Barth's Adventure, One Step Closer to Truth

So I was walking into JetBlue terminal 5 when I spied a Borders bookstore. On my way to a weekend with my very good friend Christy in St. Barth’s where she works for Hotel St. Barth’s Ile De France. I am joining her for what is a work weekend for her and I am tagging along by the grace of her bosses agreeing to have her friend accompany her on a business trip, if I promise not to distract her, (and I may have a little) but she worked so hard all weekend and I soaked up sun and relaxation on the beautiful beaches of the French West Indies. (I wore sunscreen!) The Hotel is absolutely gorgeous and if you haven't been to St. Barth's and you are lucky enough to get an opportunity to go you have to go there to stay or for a meal. it is spectacular.

I came armed with plenty of reading materials and self-imposed writing assignments. I didn’t plan to have a lot of extra time. I walked past the bookstore in the terminal without stopping, (a hard thing for me to do.) My thinking is I have plenty to keep me busy, books in my carry on and plenty of writing to do…stay on task! (Agh! Adult ADD rears its ugly head..) I sat at my gate tapping my toe and quickly realized I was there a good hour before boarding was to begin and I thought to myself ,’Well maybe one loop through the bookstore can’t hurt!’. I got back up and walked back to the main terminal and entered the Borders. It was a condensed airport version but had whatever bestsellers and classics any traveler would want to pick up. I found myself in the section marked ‘spirituality’, (shockingly enough). I saw a book that I have read before called The Four Agreements’ by Don Miguel Ruiz. Most of you reading this has probably read that or at least heard of it. (If not I highly recommend it!) Next to that was a book I have not heard of before called ‘The Mastery Of Love’ by the same author. I didn’t think much of it and picked it up and read the jacket.  It looked interesting enough so not being one to be able to resist the temptations of a new book, I bought it. I started reading it on the plane and was so fascinated and inspired I couldn’t put it down. Its a very simple quick read and I ended up reading it 3 times over the course of the weekend.  Synchronicity. My previous blog was all about my relationship with myself and this book was apparently waiting for me in that Borders to pick up for my weekend of solitude.

I reread it at lunch by myself one day where at I spotted a baby iguana that, like pigeons in NY kept circling under my table for scraps, (I guess??) what the heck do they eat? This thing would not leave me alone and I am no stranger to the lizards of Florida but it was more prehistoric and I really didn’t want it to walk across my toes. I perched on my chair like a lunatic cat woman. The bronzed uber cool Euros sitting around looking at the baby dinosaur with bored, unafraid faces while I clamped my beach bag to my chest, (it could have hidden in there and got me later in my room if I left it on the sand next to me!), balancing on my chair wildly looking around and under the table for it. Like a kid who is afraid of the monster under the bed and won’t even stick a toe over the edge I wouldn’t let my own toe hang over the edge of my chair in case those things can jump. Every time the waiter came up behind me I jumped and let out a little shriek. I mean it was really ridiculous but I could not help it. I ordered the Quinoa and crab salad and realized why French women don’t get fat. The ice-cream sized scoop they brought me was certainly not enough food for this all American. (My husband Mark makes fun of my food panic. If we are going into a situation where I may not potentially get a full square, say a cocktail party of heavy horsdevours I slip into panic mode. I think I starved in the great potato famine in a previous life.) So there I am clutching my giant beach bag, perched on this chair trying to eat Quinoa salad that now since I am so awkwardly perched and the bowl of delicate Quinoa is so far away from my face I keep spilling it sending the Iguana back to see what I am dropping causing my panic to rise with each bite. I was laughing at my own ridiculousness. (P.S. these French people are onto something I was totally full and it was delicious. Who knew.)?

My previous blog was all about ones struggle for a truthful, meaningful and honest relationship with ones self. The message this random book that I chose, (or did it choose me?!?) reinforced what I had been trying to grasp in said previous blog, Don Miguel Ruiz says,  Trying to be what you are not expends all of your energy. Being what you are doesn’t require any effort. We learn to pretend to be what we are not, and we practice trying to be someone else just to be good enough for mom, for dad, for teacher, for religion, whatever. We practice and we practice and we master how to be what we are not.

Until we are truly ourselves it is impossible to be who we really are with anyone else. Loving myself a little more as time goes on. Thank you Christy

Wherever you are, I hope you get the opportunity to read The Mastery Of Love. You will be glad you did! Baby Iguana not included…

My Relationship with myself. A work in progress.

My relationship with myself fluctuates like a high school romance. One day you’re up the next day your down. I think I broke up with myself this morning but I’m trying to get back together. Maybe I will pass myself a note in gym. One day you are moving forward in a positive direction. Clapping yourself on the back, you don’t need to seek anyone’s approval or opinion, you know what to do and who you are and all is right with the world. You are on your way and it is 75 degrees and sunny with a slight breeze.

Then out of the blue everything changes maybe a miscommunication or a word from someone and you get that funny feeling in your stomach that something is not quite right and you begin to worry and doubt. When that starts to happen you find even your best relationships with other people is turning needy and attention seeking instead of even keeled and easy. It has nothing to do with anyone else. It all stems from your relationship with yourself. If you don’t have a healthy relationship with yourself, it is impossible to have a healthy relationship with anyone else.

How do I get a healthy relationship with myself? You can start by taking time out of your day for yourself. It is not being selfish, its nurturing your soul, which is imperative for a good relationship with ones self. If you forget to take time out for you, you can become run down and resentful which doesn’t do anyone any good. Take time out for exercise. Sit in nature if you can or a comfy place at home and just be still. Take deep breaths. Relax to music, walk on the beach. Get to know yourself not as someone’s spouse or parent or friend or child but you without the costume.

It is definitely a work in progress and something you have to remind yourself to come back to this place. Whenever you are trying to master a new activity, golf, knitting, cooking, loving yourself, it takes time and practice to get it down. Keep trying, your worth it!

Cool Article About My Dad from Montauk Sun

Montauk's Green Guerrilas

by Nanci E. LaGarenne

"You say you want a revolution, well you know…” the Beatles sang it, the Green Guerrillas of Montauk are doing it. A quiet, peaceful, loving revolution is happening. The Green Guerillas are organic vegetable  farmers; there is a gaggle of Green Guerrillas  in Montauk alone. Their motto “We are all in this together  – save organic heirloom seeds and grow food,” was told to me by Mr. Jeff Frank, the guru and founder of the Green Guerrillas. “We are akin to resistance fighters on a mission to save Mother Earth. We are the Hobbits; the Dark Lord is out there.” The dark side being GMO’s, genetically modified  organisms.  “The fruit and vegetables are being poisoned from the seed,” Jeff says. “You have got to go organic to know what you  are getting in your food.” The chemical industry funds the hospitals and agricultural schools. In essence, we get poisoned  food and remain sick. In government, few care about our nutrition. We need agriculturally supported communities, not community supported agriculture. “We are changing  the verbiage,” says Jeff. Jeff Frank started his Green Guerrillas school, known as the Nature Lyceum, eighteen years ago and became  the first organic  distributor of organic heirloom seeds on the east coast. The school is a not-for–profit, environmental, horticultural  learning place,  now operating out of a church building in Riverhead. A two day course and you can become a Green Guerrillas, filled with knowledge and practical purpose about organics. High school students and senior citizens can attend  this course for free. Word of mouth is how people find the Nature Lyceum and Jeff.  “The only way to get into my school is to be sent by Mother Nature.” I have to agree with Jeff. In my own search to start  an organic vegetable garden at my own home, I found Susan Vitale, a Green Guerrillas, of the Gin Beach Market in Montauk. “Susan is an Elemental,” says Jeff. I smile. Elementals in lore are the “little people,” fairies, gnomes, pixies and dragons. In reality, they are the unseen forces of nature, the empaths, sensitives, Indigo children, healers,  the true care givers of Mother Earth. Susan’s energy  and goal is admirable. “My vision is to teach the kids.” Susan and Janine, two Montauk Green Guerrillas, recently planted a community vegetable garden at Saint Therese’s School. Going organic can be as simple as reading labels, buying organics from true organic farmers or starting your own organic farm with heirloom seeds. Buy Johnny Seeds, not Burpee.  “Ninety percent of the seeds out there have been genetically altered and are poison,” Jeff tells me. “We must un-program ourselves and slow down.” Jeff’s principles of living are as follows: One- eat organically.  Two- think out of the box. Three- develop short term memory (forget what upsets you and stay in the moment). Four- make believe  (you are happy, healthy, wealthy and wise). Five- love unconditionally. “If you do these five things you direct the movie of your life,” Jeff says. “We need to learn how to respond and not react.” Eating organic un-poisoned, un-chemically altered food can help us on that journey.  Is it any wonder that more than half of American children are taking drugs for allergies and emotional, physical and educational disabilities? This generation of children is exposed to the most over processed, un-healthy food ever. This is just wrong! We can turn the tide. Green Guerrillas are here to show us how to  “make food your medicine and medicine your food,” Jeff says, quoting Hippocrates. Check Jeff out on You Tube, you won’t be disappointed. Ask around town, Montauk is brimming with Green Guerrillas. Gin Beach Market is a start, a meeting place of local movers and shakers. Go have an organic coffee and leave in better spirits.  “A shift is taking place,” Susan tells me. “The feminine energy is coming to the fore.” Mother Earth is in crisis, this we know, just turn on the news. However, we can change things. Embracing  organics is a beginning. The Nature Lyceum’s two day Green Guerrillas course is taught in a special way. “It is based on right brain feminine story telling,” Jeff says. Taking its lead from the Native Americans and modeling the organic farming after the Findhorn Garden, a spiritual community of organic farmers off the coast of Scotland.  The organic farmers off Findhorn Bay, instilled, if you will, their own light and energy into the soil and vegetable seeds.  The result, forty pound cabbages and a bumper crop! The Findhorn community exists to this day, as well as a school andretreat written about in a book by Eckart Tolle, titled The Findhorn Retreat. I for one will be taking Jeff’s course at The Nature Lyceum and become a Green Guerrilla. I will purchase organic heirloom seeds and grow my own small vegetable garden. It is never too late to change. Jeff himself knows this firsthand. He died and came back to life. He writes about his experience in a book called  “The Angles of Saint Francis.” If this sounds eccentric or religious, I assure it is not. Jeff relies on two sayings daily: “Have a silly day, and Yua-Tah-Hey,” a Navajo greeting meaning “Walk in Beauty.” I leave you with a quote from J.R.R Tolkien. Frodo Baggins says to Gandalf in Fellowship of the Ring: “I wish it need not happen in my time,” says Frodo. Gandalf replies,  “So do I, and so do all that live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do  with the time that is given us. ”www.thenaturelyceum.org

Peruvian Nuts, super food!

A friend sent me this article, looks interesting! I havent tried them yet but it sounds like a good snack to me! Check it out...

Traditionally, summer calls for peanuts and Cracker Jacks, but we're opting to snack on Sacha Inchi seeds instead.

These earthy, nutlike seeds are harvested from the Sacha Inchi fruit, which grows deep within the Amazon rain forest and possesses a vegetal flavor and natural saltiness that has effectively turned us into Inchi addicts.

Vegetarians in particular should take note: The "Incan peanuts" are the richest meat-free source of brain-sharpening omega-3, omega-6 and omega-9. But the roasted, sugar-sweetened and tamari-seasoned varieties sold by TerrAmazon (the company that also popularized goji berries and Himalayan salt) are delicious in any diet.

And the backstory only adds further appeal: The newfound popularity of the seeds--which date back to pre-Incan civilizations--is helping indigenous farmers in the central Amazon, who cultivate the product and sell it at fair market prices to preserve their way of life.

Pop Inchi by the handful or add them to nutty trail mix as a counterpoint to the sweetness of cashews and almonds. They're also perfect in place of croutons with mixed greens.