I Think My Horse Hates Me.

“Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.” Carl Jung

I am not going to sit here and pretend that living in the summertime on the east end of Long Island, NY isn’t amazing because it really is. We have some of he most beautiful beaches in the world, family and friends around. BBQ’s, margaritas the sun filled days and starry-skied nights. We are lucky and we know it.

However that doesn’t mean that even surrounded by the natural beauty that we have all around us we don’t lose sight of all the things we have to be grateful for.

Our health, loved ones, their health. I think that pretty much sums up the biggies. If we could wake up like Jimmy Stewart everyday and realize the world is a better place because we are in it and all you need is love what a wonderful world this would be! (I know two songs in one sentence, I’m so original.)

Sadly we get side tracked and forget very quickly how lucky we are and the ego pokes its ugly head out and we start to get further away from what is real and start to buy into the illusion of what is not.

My friend Allyson has a friend Maura who upon hearing someone’s ridiculous complaint about something inane, (ice cubes in their margarita to cold perhaps?) She coined what has now become a catch phrase for the summer, “And to top it all off I think my horse hates me.” I thought it was a very clever saying to come up with on the absurd things people find to complain about.

I know we all have ‘stressors’. We cannot control that because the rent still has to be paid and the food still has to be on the table and you still have to deal with people pushing your buttons and Aunt Helen coming to stay for two weeks and the idiot who took your parking spot. That will never change. But our response to the stressors is our stress. So as Duke from Magic’s used to say ‘It’s mind over matter. If you don’t mind than it don’t matter.”

The extent or quality of that stress is up to us. When you start to feel anxiety, stress, worry fear or anger take your deep belly breaths. By a deep belly breath I mean inhale through your nose, your belly will rise on the inhale and fall on the exhale. You can go ahead and put one hand on your belly and test it out. Deep breath in, belly rises, exhale, belly falls. This breathing stimulates your parasympathetic nervous system. Breathing is the only thing we do consciously and unconsciously so when we breathe from our belly we are consciously slowing down our heart rate and balancing our own energy.

If you look at stressors from a different perspective you may even be able to find the benefits of stress. Our bodies never lie to us. Our bodies always tell the truth, we just don’t always want to listen because it may mean we have to make some radical changes and everyone fears change.

Try not to resist the information your body gives you. If you have anxiety and it brings you to a yoga class where you learn to belly breathe, well then that anxiety just gave you a gift! How would you ever learn about belly breathing if that darn anxiety didn’t make you?

A certain amount of stress or pain allows us to connect on a deeper level to who we really are. When you meet someone who has had tragedy or illness and they don’t sweat the small stuff and its because they already know the small stuff isn’t real. Pain allows us to understand our own essence of what is real. Just like in a yoga class you need the work before the shivasana, or rest at the end because without it, you’re just laying down on a mat on the floor. It doesn’t mean anything. But after you have worked hard and dripped sweat and pushed yourself, that rest feels amazing. And you are making that connection with who you truly are.

Hopefully we are all always evolving. For real transformation a little rain must sometimes fall. Don’t fear the hard stuff. Have faith and keep an open mind. The hard stuff will bring you to what you really need and who you really are.

I just recently learned that before the ice age “man”, (HA! prove it!) invented fire. Thus enabling human beings to survive.

We already have everything we need in life within us. Tap into it. Break through anxiety, stress, worry, fear and anger and connect to your spiritual stamina. You are stronger than you think.

Or keep the anxiety, pop a pill, make an excuse, curse your boss/spouse/kids. Stay where you are because it’s familiar. At least your horse doesn’t hate you.