Teach your Children

And you, of the tender years can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth, they seek the truth before they can die.
Teach your parents well, their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams, the one they fix,the one you'll know by.
Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you would cry,

So just look at them and sigh and know they love you. -CSN

My youngest daughter turned 13 last week. Its official, I have only teenagers and adults now. What a strange and wonderful feeling. I have spent a lot of time writing about my role as a mother. It has been the most pivotal role of my life. Profoundly continues to shape and mold all that I still am yet to be. As much influence as I have had in my children’s lives they have equal if not higher billing in mine. My Kung Foo Masters, each of them.

Kelly is a brilliant, funny, beautiful, strong willed, kind kid who brings so much joy and just as swiftly can bring you to your knees. A fiery personality she has not always been so easy to mother, but as I always say, nothing worthwhile is easy! And she is definitely worthwhile.

I go back to the beginning of my mothering career when Beth was born and the Gulf war was soon raging. I was afraid for her future. What did we do? Bringing a new life into an unstable world. What was the world going to be like for her? Then I remember thinking that I am sure since the beginning of time mothers have thought this about their children’s lives. The fact is life is hard. It was when they came to this new world and had to physically build the country from the ground up. As it is today as modern technology presents a whole new slew of “problems” we could never imagine our children having when we grew up. Time moves on and again, it is how we deal with what is thrown at us that matters.

I received an email from my Dad today from a friend of a friend who is currently living in Japan. I don’t think they would mind if I put it on the blog as its message is a hopeful and positive one that even when the worst thing you could imagine happens life moves on in love and light.

Hello My Lovely Family and Friends,

First I want to thank you so very much for your concern for me. I am
very touched. I also wish to apologize for a generic message to you
all. But it seems the best way at the moment to get my message to you.

Things here in Sendai have been rather surreal. But I am very blessed
to have wonderful friends who are helping me a lot. Since my shack is
even more worthy of that name, I am now staying at a friend's home. We
share supplies like water, food and a kerosene heater. We sleep lined
up in one room, eat by candlelight, share stories. It is warm,
friendly, and beautiful.

During the day we help each other clean up the mess in our homes.
People sit in their cars, looking at news on their navigation screens,
or line up to get drinking water when a source is open. If someone has
water running in their home, they put out sign so people can come to
fill up their jugs and buckets.

Utterly amazingly where I am there has been no looting, no pushing in
lines. People leave their front door open, as it is safer when an
earthquake strikes. People keep saying, "Oh, this is how it used to be
in the old days when everyone helped one another."

Quakes keep coming. Last night they struck about every 15 minutes.
Sirens are constant and helicopters pass overhead often.

We got water for a few hours in our homes last night, and now it is
for half a day. Electricity came on this afternoon. Gas has not yet
come on.

But all of this is by area. Some people have these things, others do
not. No one has washed for several days. We feel grubby, but there are
so much more important concerns than that for us now. I love this
peeling away of non-essentials. Living fully on the level of instinct,
of intuition, of caring, of what is needed for survival, not just of
me, but of the entire group.

There are strange parallel universes happening. Houses a mess in some
places, yet then a house with futons or laundry out drying in the sun.

People lining up for water and food, and yet a few people out walking
their dogs. All happening at the same time.

Other unexpected touches of beauty are first, the silence at night. No
cars. No one out on the streets. And the heavens at night are
scattered with stars. I usually can see about two, but now the whole
sky is filled.

The mountains are Sendai are solid and with the crisp air we can see
them silhouetted against the sky magnificently.

And the Japanese themselves are so wonderful. I come back to my shack
to check on it each day, now to send this e-mail since the electricity
is on, and I find food and water left in my entranceway. I have no
idea from whom, but it is there. Old men in green hats go from door to
door checking
to see if everyone is OK. People talk to complete strangers asking if
they need help. I see no signs of fear. Resignation, yes, but fear or
panic, no.

They tell us we can expect aftershocks, and even other major quakes,
for another month or more. And we are getting constant tremors, rolls,
shaking, rumbling. I am blessed in that I live in a part of Sendai
that is a bit elevated, a bit more solid than other parts. So, so far
this area is better off than others. Last night my friend's husband
came in from the country, bringing food and water. Blessed again.

Somehow at this time I realize from direct experience that there is
indeed an enormous Cosmic evolutionary step that is occurring all over
the world right at this moment. And somehow as I experience the events
happening now in Japan, I can feel my heart opening very wide. My
brother asked me if I felt so small because of all that is happening.
I don't. Rather, I feel as part of something happening that much
larger than myself. This wave of birthing (worldwide) is hard, and yet
magnificent.

Thank you again for your care and Love of me,

With Love in return, to you all,

Anne

So all you who have worried about the future, please don’t.  It is what we make of it. We can cry and complain or we can see things through a different lens and find the beauty in everything that happens. I am happy and confident that I am preparing my children and myself to know that they will not go through life unscathed but hopefully learn to deal with what they do go through with grace.

BLOGS I FOLLOW

I added a link to Frank Bice's blog at the bottom of this page. Frank is an inspiring person who speaks of making your cross your gift. By seeing things through a different lens you have the ability within you to live a joyful life through faith, hope and love no matter what your circumstances. During a football game in college Frank suffered a spine injury that rendered him a quadrapalegic for life. Yet he still considers himself one of the luckiest people on earth because everything he had hoped and prayed for in life has come true. Truly an inspiring story. Check it out!!

Satsang

It is impossible to be hurt except by your own thoughts.-A Course in Miracles

I went to a Satsang on Tuesday night. It was amazing. A Satsang is translated as a 'truth group'. A community of people who come together to discuss heartfelt topics. (sign me up!) This Satsang gathered at the Kula Yoga Shala in Jupiter, Florida. A really great place where different yoga teachers hold all kinds of classes on a donation basis. So whatever your practice is worth to you is what you pay.

This Satsang meets on Tuesday evenings and it is dedicated to A Course in Miracles. It was so timely that I went for the first time that night. (oh that's right there are no coincidences!)

Recently a very good friend of mine said to me, "Are you still writing that blog?" At which I skipped just a little beat but quickly recovered answering "Why yes I am!" For a split second my feathers were ruffled that such a good friend didn't know something that was so important to me, (writing) was and will always be a part of my life. But the moment passed and I thought that I had let the feeling go as quickly as it came but I thought about it again the next day, (so clearly my ego had gotten the best of me.)

I know that everyone is busy and I write this not to feed my own ego, (I thought!). I write this blog because if something resonates with me than I am sure that it must resonate with someone else out there as well and we learn from each other,(truth). TAKE NOTHING PERSONALLY!

The discussion at the satsung was The Attainment of Peace. The gist of the course if your not familiar with it is that the Holy Spirit is in all of us and forgiveness is the path to truth and truth is love. The ego is the source of fear and everything that stems from fear, (like feeling offended) Everything the ego is, is an illusion. It is not reality. This is not something we need to learn but something we need to remember!

Eckart Tolle has an iPhone app and a podcast discussing the Course. Marianne Williams made a career out of explaining the course. Its pretty interesting. I left the evening forgiving myself for being human and seeing things from a different lens. On the TODAY show they showed a web video of a father and his baby. The father is tearing up a rejection letter and the baby is laughing so loud and hard at him doing this it makes you laugh right along with them. What a lesson! The baby knows! The rejection letter and the feelings that come with it are the illusion. Laugh in the face of fear and move on to love.

Baby Laughing

Course in Miracles Quotes

Becoming Whole

"Meditation is painful in the beginning but it bestows immortal bliss and supreme joy in the end."- Swami Sivananda

Watching Oprah's interview with David Arquette yesterday was interesting. If you follow this sort of thing, (and these days the "news" usually reports celebrity breakups as if it were actually newsworthy so you can't help but know these things.), David and his beautiful celebrity wife Courtney Cox Arquette, were separated a few months back causing David to spiral out of control very publicly. Tabloid photos of him leaving night clubs extremely intoxicated or hearing parts of radio interviews where he sounds terrible and shares very personal and private stories about his marriage were becoming commonplace.
Yesterday on Oprah his sister Patricia revealed that she and Courtney staged an intervention for him that he gladly and willingly accepted since he now knows he was screaming out in pain and asking for help for quite sometime.

It was revealed that the Arquette's had grown up in a very unstable life. Living in a commune and having actor/poet parents. There was alcohol, drugs, drama and abuse in their household. David became the perfect child. Sweet, kind, funny. The sisters described him as being the perfect little boy but they said, not even a perfect kid could make everything in their house all better. But of course he could not. Then he married and became a father and was now defined by this new role. Now I am a father and a husband, I will play it perfectly. But still not having dealt with the pain of childhood of course he soon began to unravel and his family broke apart. Thus beginning his public downward spiral.

I was fascinated by his story and was moved by his honesty and his obvious heartfelt and authentic wish to now be who he really is, a whole person. I to struggled to be a good girl for my parents. Doing "my part" was all I could do to control our out of control lives. Be sweet, be good, be pretty, be smart. I tried my best but inevitably failed to keep my family together. Fear, embarrassment, confusion, anger, resentment were shoved down beneath the surface of the smiling, happy good girl I was. I became a wife and mother very early on and FINALLY found what I had always wanted. Control over my own life. I was still a good daughter, now adding to it good wife, good mother, good friend, perfect household. I was so busy being all of these things I didn't realize that I still wasn't being myself. I would live a life of unrequited self love for quite some time to come.

The time, as it tends to do, went by very quickly and I found myself still young with almost grown children. As I have said before my role went from from manager to consultant right before my very eyes. It was quiet for the first time in my life. And in the stillness I began to notice things I never did in the noise I surrounded myself in. Things came to the surface that I didn't even know were down there! The road to being a whole, real person is not easy. When you live the life of the "good child" you don't feel worthy. A lot of women I know even justify sitting down during the day. Most women, even if they have some free time, wont use it to sit down and read a book or have a cup of tea or do some meditation. Most women will justify sitting down only if they are on the computer or have a load of laundry to fold in front of them. Sitting down is a decadent luxury. I urge everyone, men and women, to sit in quiet everyday. It is not easy! Your mind will wander, you will start to jump up remembering a million things you just HAVE to do. You will start to notice things you may not like. About yourself or others in your life. Being honest with yourself is not always easy but to be who you are truly meant to be needs honesty. Ain't no way around that. Release control, you don't have it anyway. I am fortunate beyond measure that I have a great partner who is understanding and learning all of these new facets of life with me not against me. Coming to this place is a journey two people can't always get to together. Everyone at some point starts to feel the shift. And you either open your heart and embrace it, or you start putting walls up and shutting it out one way or another.
So if you are starting to feel the shift, you are not alone. There are great books out there to help guide you through these uncharted waters. The one I just recently read and LOVE is Elizabeth Lesser's book Broken Open, how difficult times help us grow. I highly recommend it. I am excited for the future, a whole person lives a much richer life than running around just trying to be "good" all the time. David ended the interview showing us voyeurs into his new whole life. Not surprisingly yoga and meditation is a part of his daily life. He said it gets a little lonely sometimes but he is figuring it all out. Sometimes life is lonely. Can you sit quietly in the silence or do you need to fill it up with noise? Its how you handle things, not what happens to you that makes the difference.

Water, Consciousness & Intent: Dr. Masaru Emoto

GLUTEN FREE PART 1

The greatest wealth is health.  ~Virgil

Ok, this is big. It’s not only a big self-discovery that may resonate with you but it’s big that I am admitting this. Last week I did something that I never thought I would do. I went to the bookstore and purchased a book. (That’s not it) I went home and put an Oprah magazine in front of the cover so not even my husband would know what I was reading and I read this book from cover to cover. The book is called ‘Sexy Forever’ by one Suzanne Somers. Yes, I am taking advice from Chrissy Snow. And you know what? It has already changed my life for the better. (That is what I get for being a judger of former sitcom stars giving health and lifestyle advice. If Henry Winkler comes out with anything I’ll be first in line)

Ms. Somers claims to be able to help you ‘fight fat after forty, Shed the toxins, shed the fat’.  She had me at fat.

I saw her on The Today Show, (YouTube it!) And what she was saying made sense.

What she said was what I have been hearing from my Dad for years but I really didn’t think it was affecting me at all. I felt good, I looked good. I am young(ish) and I exercise and eat well 90 percent of the time. (Possibly 85) And all of the sudden over the past 8 months it’s like someone found an air valve and started to slowly blow me up. I looked sort of the same, my clothes still fit although not really comfortably depending on the TIME OF DAY. (That’s important) Even my watch, that used to slide around on my wrist like a bracelet was tight and leaving a red mark on my arm. (For how long until I actually noticed I have no idea.) I was so busy trying to find inner peace; I didn’t see that my outer body was going into crisis mode until it was glaring.

Suzanne asked Hoda and Kathilee are you tired of eating salad and killing yourself at the gym to either maintain status quo or not see any results at all? (I think Kathilee said something like, “I know Hoda is!” wink, wink) And all women for years have gotten is that standard line given to women of a certain age, ‘That’s what happens!’ My mom used to say to me all the time, ‘By the time you hit menopause they will have invented a cure for it.’ (Well, btw we are still waiting for flying cars too.) Not that I am menopausal, BECAUSE I’M NOT! (Defensive?) But apparently I am….its hard to even type it, peri. BLUCH! It sounds awful doesn’t it? Well the good news is according to my new BF Suzanne is even if it may sound awful, it doesn’t have to be awful.

She explains that the ‘thickening’ that happens to women after a certain age where there boobs get bigger and their backs get bigger and the weight that just seems to keep coming and doesn’t come off so easily is not “Just what happens” and we don’t have to suck it up and kill ourselves at the gym to still not be where we want to be. Its actually a body bloated with toxins from this ‘environmental assault’ she says, we are living in. She goes on to explain that our body has a job to do and everything we put into our bodies has to be used, stored or eliminated. Toxins are foreign substances that the body doesn’t know quite what to do with so like all well meaning annoying over zealous do gooder it says, “I’ll store this in your fat for you!” Gee, thanks.

So our deodorants, shampoos, face creams, cleaning products, pesticides, synthetic pillows, mattresses, air pollution chemically enhanced food, nutrient deficient soil we grow our food in and everything else we live with on a daily basis is making us fat. When we spend so much of our lives ingesting all these toxins we develop intolerances to certain foods or at least things that are in certain foods. Our body is TRYING to tell us what to do and we are not listening.

These days we are all living until we are in our 80’s and 90’s but our quality of life is leaving us much earlier and it doesn’t have to. As we age we lose certain estrogen related hormones that keep our metabolism up. Combine that with our toxic food and world we live in and our bodies start screaming to us that something isn’t right! Hormonal health she claims is the way to weight loss.

She goes on to talk about natural hormone replacement therapy but my head wasn’t in that yet although I plan to keep this book handy for the future. What I was interested in was the skinny factor. (Hey, sorry I am human and I want to look good. If good health comes with it…BONUS) So she says have blood work done and find out what you are allergic to or have an insensitivity to and you can eliminate those things from your diet, eat organically and you’ll be thin. VIOLA! So I am giving it a try.

I admit that I usually will mindlessly eat because if 1 slice of pizza is good then 2 will be better! Life is short, I justify, I don’t care no one is going to dictate what I eat I am going to enjoy myself! But at my own expense. Then I ignore the side effects of my body saying to me please don’t! Like feeling bloated after I eat a harmless turkey sandwich on whole wheat bread and suddenly the pants I put on in the morning feel bad by 1pm.  Or my “bathroom time” is out of whack. There are a million signs telling us what is wrong. We just have to listen. So I haven’t gotten the blood work done yet but I will. I did however talk to my friend Cathleen who is very knowledgeable and mindful about such things and we also share a lot of similar ‘ailments’ so we compared notes and I realized I might have gluten intolerance. She asked me do you feel like it effects your breathing as well? And I was quick to say, “No, I don’t think so.” Because I wasn’t calling because I was interested in my health I was interested in my pant size. And then I actually thought about it for more than my 2-second attention span that I usually give to my body’s mechanics and I said, “Actually, I do struggle with my breath but I just assumed that’s just the way I am.” Isn’t that funny what we just accept things that we really shouldn’t in so many aspects of our lives? Mother’s especially, I think, don’t pay enough attention too themselves they are always spending time taking care of everyone else to notice what is going on in their own bodies until it becomes to late.

Cut to the chase, on Thursday I cut glutens, (anything with wheat), out of my life and four days later I have lost 5 pounds. Thrilling isn’t it?  I already try to purchase organically grown produce and meats, etc. What is the best part is that I now have a better understanding of how this mind, body, spirit connection thing really works. I put milk in my coffee and noticed my stomach went crazy. Could dairy be next?? (Or GASP coffee??) And I don’t feel like I am depriving myself of anything because there are so many alternatives out there. I have passed by boxes marked ‘GLUTEN FREE’ forever and never gave it a thought. If I pay attention to my health my body is happy and if my body is happy then my mind gets happy. If my mind is happy then no matter what happens in life, I can face it. Strong body, strong mind, happy heart. Thanks Chrissy Snow, you wise sage.  Mr.Roper had you all wrong. 

I’m on the road to Shambala…

Just be good and do good…Swami Sivanandaji

On my way home from an amazing, exhilarating, beautiful and exhausting Yoga training in San Diego. It was such a great experience. Kristin, the teacher who I did my very first training with in 2006 was the teacher for this master class. Very fitting that the teacher who changed everything for me was the same teacher for this very profound training.

In 1998 I took my first yoga class at an adult Ed class at the local high school. My kids were small and my stress was high and I loved it from the start. It took me to where I needed to go. I new it would always be a part of my life in some way.

In 2006 my kids were in the process of demoting me from manager to consultant. I was living a very blessed life but I still wasn’t feeling satisfied. Something was missing. I had everything I could ever want, happy marriage, healthy kids, nice house and great friends, life was great! So what was wrong with me? Why wasn’t I completely happy? I went to that first training and I started on my path to finding the answer to that and many more questions I didn’t even know needed answering. It was a life changing experience to say the least.

Cut to 2011, I am still on the path I started years ago, (and God willing, I will be learning and growing my practice for the rest of my life.) I went out to a Yoga Fit Mind, Body Fitness Conference in San Diego/Del Mar. Kristin, who was the one who taught that first training that started it all for me was teaching this master class along with her assistant Robin. This class focusing more on the history and philosophy of yoga. The good stuff! I couldn’t wait. Our group of merry Yogi’s met on day one and unlike the feeling of uncertainty I had walking into that first training, by the time your signing up for this class, you know you are dedicated and will be with like minded people who aren’t just dipping their toe in the yoga water.

Kristin and Robin did not disappoint. They led us through difficult poses while teaching us Sanskrit along the way with patience and humor. We had deep, meaningful conversations and they helped all of us take our practice to a more meaningful level.

At many times over the course of the training I had moments where I felt like I had known these people before. A few of us played the ‘Did we meet at…?’ Positive we had met before at some place and time. We all shared this sense of familiarity. There was a connection between our group. We supported, inspired and encouraged each other throughout the training.

At several times throughout we chanted together and listened to and sang along to beautiful devotional mantras. I found myself wiping away a tear or two feeling the vibration of Om mani padme hum resonating deep within my heart. The translation is ‘May the jewel of the lotus shine forth to unite us all.’ And it did. We took part in a Kirtan, (sort of like a community chant), with other classes, reinforcing that feeling of unity we all shared. Kristin’s beautiful voice leading us all. No one was embarrassed or self-conscious just happy to be there, being a part of it all. Felicia Marie Tomasko who is this really cool chick who is the editor of LA Yoga came in to talk to us about among other things, the Gunas. We listened to her with rapt attention and when her time with us was up it felt like a minute. We could have listened all day.

At the end we sat in our imperfect circle, (it seemed to always resemble more of an egg for some reason). Kristin had to leave after our last practice together, (which was a beautiful practice BTW) and watching her go, I realized I was happy to get to go home later myself but sad to say goodbye all the same. Coming to trainings, retreats, practicing regularly, it just reinforces my belief and devotion for what I’m doing. What everyone there is doing. Just making our little corners of the world a little bit happier, nicer, peaceful.  The Yoga Fit program is cool because just like Yoga, it guides you but it is up to you to make your practice what you want it to be. They don’t tell you, now you have to do these poses, in this order to this music. It’s more like here is ALL THIS INFORMATION…now go forth and be good and do good. The program, although supportive of its students allows you to be your own yogaself.

Robin let us know that she had posted on her Facebook page the night before ‘These people make me want to be better.’  I think we all felt that way so right back at ya Robin. Looking through the Training Manual afterwards I wrote down little bits of wisdom that I picked up along the way. Things like, ‘Read the Dharma of Star Wars’, check out MC Yogi’s Chakra Beat Box, Jeffrey Armstrong Vedic Avatar!(rewatch movie!!) (PS. Avatar was the movie on the plane on my way home. Coincidence?HMMM)

 And, MAKE FOUR SONG PLAYLIST!!!! Everything changes! Pick attachments wisely! YOGA STARTS NOW!

I walked along the cliff looking at the Pacific after we were through. The sun was setting and I was feeling like it was 73 degrees with a slight breeze. Almost my perfect weather! (See blog #1!) A very inspiring few days. Lots of ideas to keep new classes fresh and fun and more meaningful as well as silly and cool and just a good workout if that’s what we’re looking for on any particular day. It’s all ok! Happy to have my ‘Satch’ book, (as Kristin lovingly referred to The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali), to keep finding inspiration in. Leaving you with a little something from Sri Swami Satchidananda

Everyday let us check our progress and see that we grow a little better. Every day should elevate us a little, broaden our attitudes, reduce our selfishness and make us better masters over our own body, senses and mind. This is the kind of Yoga that will really help us. And let that highest goal toward which Patanjali’s Sutras point be our goal: that one day we should all attain the highest Samadhi, the totally liberated state. This liberation is not for the remote future or for when we die; it is to be lived in the very midst of the world.

A Letter to my Daughter on her 21st Birthday.

Our oldest child turned 21 this week. She gave me her permission to share with you the letter I wrote her in between crying all weekend. (all kinds of tears, from a little mist of happy nostalgia to the downright ugly cry.) All you parents know how I feel. I'm sure you all feel the same way about the miracles that are your own children....

To the one who started everything, on the day of your 21^st birthday. Happy Birthday Beth! I am amazed that 21 years has gone so quickly and yet thinking back on you, as a little curly haired girl seems like another lifetime ago. Funny, when we found out you were coming your Dad and I were never afraid. Almost as if we somehow knew how wonderful it would be to be your parents. Not scary at all but an amazing adventure that would bring us nothing but love and happiness. (Even when you were in Middle school)

From the first moment we saw you, we knew how special you were and how much love you were going to bring into all of our lives. Our families, our friends, everyone loved you and knew you were an amazing little kid.

I hope that feeling of love you received from so many people stays in your heart all of your life. I know we can be hard on you sometimes. Its our job as your parents to prepare you as best we can for what life brings. I guess our thinking is, maybe if we are hard on her, when life gets hard she will be able to handle it. When in reality, I have every faith in you that you will handle anything and everything that life brings you beautifully, with grace and dignity. That is not to say you won’t make mistakes because we all do, but you have that determined ability in you to shake it off and keep moving forward. That is a wonderful trait to possess! That makes all the difference in the world in how you will get through difficult times.

We can’t shield you from pain and heartache that everyone has to have in life. Fortunately, your life is yours to live, not ours. But don’t ever worry, because the things that seem the scariest and the hardest are the things that don’t define us but refine us and all I can do is love you and have faith in you that you are stronger than you know and you have an inner strength in you that you haven’t even had to tap into to much yet, but know that its there for you when you need it and you created that all on your own without any help from your Dad and I.

If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together,

 There is something you must always remember. 

You are braver than you believe, stronger than 

You seem, and smarter than you think.

 But the most important thing is, even if we're apart.. I'll always be with you.” 

 

Winnie the Pooh

Remember these words Bethy. A silly yellow chubby bear has summed up everything you need to know. It has been and will continue to be, all of my life, a privilege to be your Mom. Thank you for that. Have a great Birthday. I love you.

TRUST

 “I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish He didn't trust me so much.” – Mother Theresa of Calcutta.

Once you have felt the pain of betrayal, (and we all have to some degree or another), once someone has robbed you of your trust in them or trust in yourself to ‘know better’. How do we open our hearts again? How do you allow your heart to go unguarded when it feels as if our instinct tells us to keep the armor up and don’t let it down?

With the “news” filled with spouse’s cheating on each other, people cheating others out of money, people lying for their own ‘gain’. What is God telling us? Don’t believe anyone? Trust no one?

As the Twin Towers fell was it a coincidence that the priest molestation scandal was soon to follow? I remember thinking at the time, ‘God, when we need you the most, why are you testing our faith now?’ If my government can’t protect me and my church can’t protect me than we are truly alone, so get that armor on!

Why then, like Charlie Brown kicking the football Lucy is holding, do we keep trying? Why don’t we just give up and lock our hearts up and throw away the key? Life is to painful. Its to hard, if I don’t put myself out there then I won’t get hurt. The reason why we don’t give up, the reason why we keep trying to kick the football is our spirits capacity for love is so much greater than our minds capacity to remember pain. Why is it that when someone who maybe wasn’t always so nice passes away after time we only remember the good things about him or her? Why do women keep having babies?

No one wants to be dependant on anyone else for anything. Not for money, shelter and not even love. It just doesn’t feel right. We fear it gives someone power over us, makes us weak and resentful. Fear is what holds us back from love. Love is what will set us free from fear. Hmmm. Seems like a catch 22 doesn’t it? We let our fear get into our thoughts and our thoughts become our actions. If we would only love ourselves as easily as we hate ourselves we wouldn’t have to keep learning the same lessons over and over again. Like a hamster spinning on a wheel, wouldn’t it feel so good to get off and rest?

The only way that I see a way out of this hamster wheel is faith. We must keep the faith that even if someone, (including ourselves) is trying to hurt us in one way or another, that we are stronger. That our faith and love, in and for ourselves will overcome our fear and distrust of others. I don’t think it is our instinct telling us to shield ourselves from others, it is our ego. That is why it doesn’t feel good to have feelings of hatred, distrust, resentment or pain. Our own bodies are telling us, ‘this isn’t how its supposed to be.’  You can feel it in your gut, in your heart, in your throat when something ‘isn’t right’. Our bodies will never lie to us. Think of taking those feelings you have and throwing them in the garbage can and sealing the lid. You are left with an open heart, deep clean breath and clear thinking. If someone is trying to harm you, it really has nothing to do with you. That is their own fear talking.  Fear is the driving force behind pain. Replace your own fear with faith and love and no matter what anyone else tries to ‘do to you’ know that you are going to eventually be ok. God gives us these lessons so we learn that we can handle anything. That we have nothing to fear. He made us so powerful that even when the worst imaginable things happen we can get through it. If God has that kind of trust in us it’s the least we can do to have that trust in ourselves.

COINCIDENCE? I DON'T THINK SO!

“A coincidence is a small miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous.”

 I became friends with Marybeth when our now 21 year olds were 10 and in the same fifth grade class. We became fast friends and although distance keeps us apart for most of the year she and her family have remained some of our favorite people to this day and I always love when we are able to get together.

Marybeth was my first real reintroduction to serious physical fitness since high school team sports. She is a personal trainer and group class aerobics instructor and when my kids were little my big night out would be to go to Marybeth’s class and grab a salad (and a margarita!) afterwards with girls from the class. My love of fitness grew from Marybeth’s dedication, enthusiasm and talent for inspiring others and a few years later I became a yoga instructor myself and found a love for helping people and teaching people all because of those aerobics classes! Marybeth and I were out for dinner over a year ago when we started brain storming about different things we could do together. Combine her amazing talents for aerobic physical fitness and my knowledge of Yoga and meditation and maybe we could put together the greatest ladies night out ever! (Maybe we would even end it with a margarita? Who knows!)? Its always exciting and fun when you get that back and forth going with a like minded person. Just a little reminder that possibilities are still endless and its never to late to live the dream!!

I think of her often and did so again when I read Crush it! (See past blog) I thought not only would she love it but her son who just graduated from college would as well. (Being someone who would appreciate the message the book sent to young entrepreneurial types.) But like people do, I tucked it away and sort of forgot to tell her about it. (Not listening to my instincts! Not looking for the miracles!) 

So my phone rings today and it says its Marybeth calling! I answered and she said, ‘Is this Jen Smith?’ ha ha! No its Jen Kessenich. And we laughed because she called me “accidentally”. I told her about the Crush it! Book I had been meaning to tell her about and she said “That’s so funny because I was calling Jen Smith to tell her how much I am loving her book, ‘How to Launch Your Rocket’.” She told me an inspiring story about a mutual friend of ours that I have known since elementary school who went from stay at home mom to millionaire in two years all from following her passion. She is now sharing her story in a book. Hmmmm. Sounds good to me! I reconnected with Jen myself two years ago when again, my friend Marybeth got me into this nutritional cleansing system, Isagenix that she was introduced to by Jen Smith. So I listened and I liked it and got involved and my family and I still use Isagenix to this day.

All of these coincidences swirling around.  We ended the conversation with the brainstorming back and forth we started over a year ago. Except suddenly our ideas don’t seem like fantasies but things we can grasp and hold onto and make a reality.

I think today was just reconfirming what I already know. There are great things awaiting me right around the corner but I have to go and get them! That is true for all of us! Little miracles falling right into our hands everyday. Open your hearts and your eyes and see what life has in store for you. I will bet if you choose to look at something from a different view, something you see everyday can change your life. There are no coincidences, just miracles. Don’t be afraid to go out and grab it. We are all destined for greatness if we want it. 

My story could be, 'I grew up in Hampton Bays, my parents made me get a summer job in Westhampton when I was in high school, I met my future husband that summer, I married young and had four children'. OR, I could look at it like this, If I didn't go to Hampton Bays elementary school I would never have met Jen Smith. If I didn't get that summer job I would never have met my husband. If I never met my husband, my children, who are the greatest miracle of my life, wouldn't be born. If my daughter got a different teacher maybe I never would have been friends with Marybeth. Thus, all changing the course my life took. But all of these things did happen. MIRACULOUSLY!  OK, I'm listening!!