Pray for Earth

Summer is almost here! Here on the east end of Long Island the beach means so much to us. Summer days, swimming in the ocean, fishing in the bay, walking on the beach, laying in the sand. Not to mention all of the families that earn their living working in the waters and in the resort towns. They rely on people coming to the east end to send their kids to college and put food on their tables.
The BP oil spill that occured in the Gulf of Mexico on April 20th continues to spill what they have estimated between 500,000 to 4.2 million US gallons of oil per day. its not only devasting the ocean and everything that lives in it but the people who rely on it for their existance.This link that I found shows what the spill would look like if it happened off the shore of Long Island. Please go to the link below and check it out. If your not already doing it, remember when you wake up in the morning and before you go to sleep at night to add the Earth to your prayers. I am not what anyone would consider an environmentalist but I am thinking that since no one can seem to figure out what to do a collective prayer can't hurt.

http://www.ifitwasmyhome.com/#loc=Hampton%20Bays%2C%20NY%2C%20USA&lat=40.881&lng=-72.536&x=-72.536&y=40.881&z=7

Sacred Contracts

 Do you really want to look back on your life and see how wonderful it could have been had you not been afraid to live it.-Carolyn Myss

Ever wonder, what is my purpose? Am I just supposed to live in this house and go through the daily routine of life or am I to be used for something bigger? Carolyn Myss wrote a book called Sacred Contracts

Explaining what Plato first wrote about centuries ago. Before we are born, she writes, we make a sacred contract of whom we will be and how we will live our lives. Everything from what kind of childhood we will have, our careers and what people will be in our lives.

If you go to her website, http://www.myss.com/library/contracts/

You can read about it in further detail and even find out whom your archetypes are. The concept is an interesting one. If you see everything that happens to you in life as an agreement you made in heaven before you were ever born you can start looking at different situations or people in your life in a different light. Why would I ever agree to have this annoying relative/friend/neighbor in my life? Well, I did so now what am I supposed to be learning from them or what are they learning from me? Why this illness or hardship? Reasons are not always so clear. It may take a long time to figure out why you chose this path for yourself. But once we accept that this is my roadmap and stop struggling against whatever is happening to us in our lives and just go with it having faith that this is exactly where you are supposed to be the more peaceful you will be and the quicker you will be able to recover from whatever is happening.

We have all had difficult people in our lives that drive us crazy. You know what it feels like when you have a toxic relationship and you decide one day that you have had enough and you change your whole way of thinking about that person? You say, you know what? She/he is never going to change and I have to stop expecting them to be a certain way and I’m just going to accept that this is what it is. And all of the sudden that person can’t push your buttons anymore! They can still be in your life and may still act or say the same old stuff that would make you nuts but if you are in a different mindset then it doesn’t affect you. It’s the best when you energetically disconnect from a toxic person. Say whatever you want, it doesn’t bother me in the least! HA! You know in that moment you have fulfilled your sacred contract with that person and it’s on to the next thing. 

LAUGH

I laughed all weekend. Uncontrollably, like a sneeze there was nothing I could do but go with it. I read somwhere that laughter is like taking a mini vacation. Is that not the truth? I actually llaughed hysterically to the point of tears several times over the past weekend. It is good for the soul.  When life gets hard, call your funniest friend and have a laugh. I tend to be the one laughing at a funeral, in church, at a party or just at home. Find the humor in whatever, wherever you are. A good, deep, from the gut make you lose your breath laugh can get you through just about anything. My friend Allyson and I don't even write LOL to each other anymore, its COL, because its bigger than a laugh, its a Cackle. I highly recommend it. Thank you to every single person who made me laugh this weekend. I am so glad I know you.

SELF-ESTEEM

Be yourself, everyone else is already taken- Oscar Wilde

So I made it to New York! The drive was long but I did it! Along the way I stopped in DC for a night. Had dinner at the bar of the hotel I was staying in and met a principal of an inner city school that was holding their senior prom at the hotel. By the end of our conversation I had promised to come back to DC in the fall and hold a yoga workshop for the students who were interested. I gave her my card and I hope she takes me up on it.

My vision for the future is to create a wellness program that schools can use to help our children live and grow in these troubled and complicated times we are living in. Through a yoga practice, mindful breathing and meditation wouldn’t it be amazing to have a whole generation of kids turning inward to help themselves out of any situation successfully instead of lashing out and blaming everyone else and not accepting responsibility for their own actions?

It seems like we are living in a society where people feel like they can behave badly, (to put it mildly), and get away with it. Character really does count and we need to tell our kids that. It all boils down to self-esteem. The quality of the life you lead revolves around your self-esteem. How you feel about yourself gets reflected in every aspect of your life. There is so much pain in the world today what if we reached out and gave everyone an opportunity to feel great about themselves? It doesn’t matter if you are wealthy or poor, young or old, foreign or domestic all children/people have to love themselves. Pay attention to your ‘self’. Who you are, what resonates with you?  Yoga, (or movement of any kind, physical activity), breathing, quiet introspective moments all develop self-esteem.

As I have mentioned before I have been saying ‘Jiminy Cricket’ to my kids their whole lives. His famous quote to Pinocchio is one of our rules we live by and that is, “Always let your conscience be your guide”. You say that to a kid as they are walking out the door and they will think about it! Not that they won't make mistakes but they will have that in their heads, and if you teach them that they have a responsibility to themselves that if they know better they must do better. Development of intuition and listening to your inner guide and trusting yourself is empowering. Self-esteem is not something you can buy, even though we try to with our cars we drive or our clothes we wear or the bags we carry. Living your life without the approval of other people develops true self-esteem. The masses don’t like this theory. (As my friend Marilyn’s father says, The Masses Are Asses! Classic!!) Don’t be afraid of thinking outside the box. You don’t have to live small to make other people feel big. Be big, bold and brave. Support, inspire and encourage each other and above all love yourselves. That is the message I would like to send to every kid I work with. Think of how awesome the future would be with a whole generation of people who truly loved themselves. I say let's do it.

Wellness Drive

I am about to begin my "wellness drive". I am driving by myself from Florida to NY. I have about 5 Deepak Chopra/Carolyn Myss audiobooks and miles of open road. I plan on being enlightened by New Jersey.
I am looking forward to seeing my sister in law, Barbara, in South Carolina for a fun girl's night tonight! And then driving either all the way to Long Island or stopping one more time. (hotel night by myself sounds heavenly so I may just take my time!)
I am looking forward to the solitude of a road trip. Maybe I will learn a little bit about myself with all of this time for reflection. Or maybe just mindlessly sing along to my ipod. Like that commercial for windows, where the average Joe has a revelation and in their minds eye they are way better good looking than in real life, I am envisioning I am either a Thelma or a Louise on a road trip to freedom. In reality I have a car packed up like the Beverly Hillbillies and I try to push out the thoughts of DVT setting in by Georgia. HA! Crazy. Here is my driving playlist if anyone else needs some tunes for the open road. Happy trails!

SYMPTOMS OF INNER PEACE

A great friend of mine sent this to me a long time ago and one of the joys of moving is finding little treasures hidden in your desk that you loved enough to keep  but didn't know where to put it.

Be on the lookout for symptoms of inner peace. The hearts of a great many have already been exposed to inner peace and it is possible that people everywhere could come down with it in epidemic proportions. This could pose a serious threat to what has, up to now, been a fairly stable condition of conflict in the world.
Some signs of inner peace include...

-A tendency to think and act spontaneously rather than on fear based past experiences.
-An unmistakable ability to enjoy each moment
-A loss of interest in judging other people
-A loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others
-A loss of interest in conflict
-A loss of the ability to worry, (this is a serious symptom)
-Frequent overwhelming episodes of appreciation and gratitude
-An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than make them happen.
-An increased susceptibility to the love extended by others as well as the uncontrollable urge to extend it.

Taken as a whole, these spell peace. Taken individually, they lead to peace.
 by Saskia Davis ©1984

Homeward Bound

“If ever there is tomorrow when we're not together
.. there is something you must always remember. 
you are braver than you believe, stronger than 
you seem, and smarter than you think.
but the most important thing is, 
even if we're apart.. i'll always be with you.” 
Winnie the Pooh

Getting ready to head out of FLA for the summer back to Westhampton, NY. Back to our old home where we raised our young family. The sanctity, safety and security of familiarity. Our home where we brought our youngest home from the hospital on a rainy day in March. Where we decorated Christmas trees with strings of popcorn and watched little excited faces rush down the stairs in awe and wonder that only true believers have.

The block we trick or treated on, the bathroom where endless nights of tubby times were held. The kitchen table that we wrote our spelling words 5 times each on and ate breakfast for dinner. The beds we curled up in to watch Disney movies and read bedtime stories. The yard we held birthday parties in and caught lightening bugs in jars. HOME.

I get to spend the summer in this little Shangri-la. To go back to a simpler time that I didn’t enjoy near enough when we were living through these good old days.

Of course I wont be doing the same things I did then. Kids are growing older as are we. Band-aids and kisses don’t take care of the problems of young adults.

What I have come to find out this year, a year of living outside of my comfort zone, is that home is not a place but a state of mind. I was sad to be so far from what I knew and loved. It took me this whole year to get used to the fact that it was time for me to let go of being “the mommy”.

Part of me was genuinely sad that kids were growing and I wasn’t needed in quite the same capacity I had been. Honestly the other part of me was scared that it was time, if I wanted to keep moving forward, to put myself out there as a person. Not as a mother or a wife or daughter or a friend but as myself. I had no other costume to hide behind. It was going to be all me. When I admitted my fear to myself a funny thing happened, it disappeared. Sometimes it creeps back in but usually if I catch it in time I can kick it to the curb with a few deep breaths.

What an amazing year. I feel as enthusiastic and excited for all my new future has in store for me as I do watching my kids navigate the beginning of the most promising and exciting time in life where anything is possible and the world is theirs for the taking. Because, it is true! Anything is possible. If we truly believe we are more powerful than beyond measure we can achieve anything at any age.

Don’t get me wrong, I still miss the days where my kids were small and they need their Dad and I the most. But there is something to be said for being able to have a meaningful conversation about life or share a laugh about things they only understand because they are grown, or watching them stand on their own two feet and not need us at all.

Mary Pat's Quinoa Salad

Did you ever have a friend you could call and/or show up on her doorstep 24/7 and ask ANYTHING and she could give you an answer? AND its insightful, helpful, honest and true? A friend who you can call and ask anything, who gives you great advice, makes you LAUGH till you cry AND can cook and ALWAYS has wine and will ALWAYS drink it with you?? This is a good friend to have and if you are lucky enough to have one of these, never let them go. Here is a recipe for a salad that Mary Pat made us for lunch one day. It is delicious and so good for you! Thank you for always sharing all the good stuff with me MP!

Quinoa Salad

1 cup Quinoa (rinsed well in hot water in a strainer)
2 cups good organic chicken stock
salt/pepper to taste

cook like rice (bring to a boil and then simmer from 10 to 15 minutes until the liquid is absorbed)

add any sauteed vegetables to the cooked Quinoa

I love sauteed onion, zucchini, garlic, oregano, salt and pepper.

Reserve some plain to add to your yogurt and fruit for breakfast.

Or after you add the sauteed veg use as a cold grain and veggie salad for lunch.

And hot with dinner with a little freshly grated Parmesan cheese as a side to a protein and a green veg .
  

The Road Not Taken

Back in the 80's I read a book and saw a movie called The Outsiders. It had every cute boy from that era in the movie and every girl I know saw it a million times. I became slightly obsessed with the writings of S.E. Hinton and before computers or on demand television, would read different chapters of the books over and over again. When the two main characters of The Outsiders are hiding out in the church they come to find out they appreciate things in life like books and poetry and sunsets. Johnny remembers a poem he read by Robert Frost called Nothing Gold Can Stay about how beauty is fleeting and we have to appreciate the beautiful moments in life when they are happening. Being obsessed with all things Outsiders at the time you can imagine my joy when I found a book of poems by Robert Frost in our book shelves. (If Johnny and Ponyboy liked him then he was good enough for me!) The Road Not Taken actually struck something in me in the ninth grade.(Apparently I was really deep back then) It remains one of my favorite poems to this day and little did I know a book of poems I would read because Ralph Macchio told me it was cool would lead me to find the poem that I would identify with for all of my life.

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;         5 Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,         10 And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.         15 I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.         20

Here Comes The Sun...

Summer is here. There is nothing that makes me happier and more content than the feel of warm sun on my skin. A day at the beach sitting in the sun, swimming in the ocean, eyes closed hearing the waves crash and the occasional plane flying by pulling a giant sign advertising some summertime fun that is going on. When my kids were small we spent all day everyday going to the beach. Tan, barefoot and blond is how I will always think of my kids during some of the happiest times of our lives.


With all of this also comes the responsibility you have to yourself and your families to protect yourself against the dangerous UV rays that cause sunburn and produce skin cancer. 
I was in high school working at a cafe on the weekends when a woman who I was waiting on pulled me aside before she left to tell me that the mole on my neck looked suspicious to her and I needed to get it checked out. I wasn't really phased by her words. I was seventeen and there was probably a keg party that weekend that needed my full attention. I was young and immortal and words like 'suspicious' didn't scare me.


A few months later I was out on the east end of Long Island visiting my Dad from Boston for the summer and he made an appointment for me to see a dermatologist. I went in had the mole removed and didn't think another thing about and still wasn't concerned when my doctor called my dad personally and asked him to bring me back in. We went back and we sat in his office and he looked me in the eye and said, "Your mole is malignant. It is melanoma and it means its cancer." My dad got very upset and I was still clueless so I was embarrassed that he was getting emotional. "Dad, its fine, I'm not going to die, right?" I looked to the doctor to back me up to my weepy horribly embarrassing father and he said "You need to see a surgeon." (UH Hello, you are supposed to just simply say NO!)


So I went back to Boston where we were living at the time and had surgery on my neck where the mole had been at Brigham and Women's Hospital. The surgeon did a great job and although for a long time the red line on my neck was a constant reminder that my relationship with one of the best free things in life, was going to have to change. Luckily my lymph nodes were clear and they had caught it in time before it had metastasised. I go every six months for mole checks and usually have something removed and biopsied. Sometimes its nothing and sometimes its a little more but I am on top of it. My kids all go for mole checks and they all have had things looked at, and some have had things removed already. I am always confident that we are on top of things and there will be nothing to worry about because I am pretty sure I would blow my dad's teary eyes out of the water if the Doctor ever told me something was wrong with one of my kids and it was something that I could have prevented with sunscreen.


Yesterday I had a Mohs operation on a squamous cell spot right under my left eye. The plastic surgeon I went to did an amazing job and I am keeping his card on file for future reference if you know what I mean!!


I wear hats, sunscreen and sit under umbrellas. I still go to the beach, run outside, garden in the yard and play outdoor sports but I am aware of the dangers and I am protected. Skin cancer kills someone every hour. (I just looked that up, yikes) Keep yourselves and the people you love protected. it is so completely preventable.