Happy Graduation Boy!

You don't raise heroes, you raise sons.  And if you treat them like sons, they'll turn out to be heroes, even if it's just in your own eyes.  ~Walter M. Schirra, Sr.

My son is graduating from high school in a few weeks. My boy, Mark. We actually call him boy. When Kelly, his youngest sister, was little she referred to him as ‘boy’ since he was the only boy around with three sisters it made sense and it stuck.

It is an exciting time in his life. Not on the cusp of becoming a man but full on grown up manhood. He is everything anyone could ever want in a son and I am so proud of the person he is.

When I was in high school one of my favorite books was The Great Santini by Pat Conroy. (It was also a great movie, perfectly cast!) I specifically remember when I read the letter that the main character Ben’s mother wrote him on his 18^th birthday that I wanted to write my own son a letter like that one day. It struck a chord with me then and as I thought about my boy graduating I remembered that letter. I couldn’t say it better than Pat Conroy so here it is…

"My dear son, my dear Ben, my dear friend who becomes a man today, I want to tell you something," the letter began. "You are my eldest child, the child I have known the longest, the child I have held the longest. I wanted to write you a letter about being a man and what it means to be a man in the fullest sense. I wanted to tell you that gentleness is the quality I have admired the most in men, but then I remembered how gentle you were. So I decided to write something else. I want you to always follow your noblest instincts. I want you to be a force for right and good. I want you to always defend the weak as I have taught you to do. I want you to always be brave and know that whatever you do or wherever you go, you walk with my blessings and my love. Keep your faith in God, your humility, and your sense of humor. Decide what you want from life then let nothing deter you from getting it. I have had many regrets in my life and many sadnesses but I will never regret the night you were born. I thought I knew about love and the boundaries of love until I raised you these past eighteen years. I knew nothing about love. That has been your gift to me. Happy Birthday, Mama"

It isn’t Mark’s 18^th birthday, that day has come and gone. And he is not the oldest either, that belongs to his sister. But as he embarks on the journey of his life as a man I am happy to say he embodies the qualities that as a 16 year old girl I dreamt my future son to have one day. Our dear friend, Ferdie Wandelt once said, “Mark has a moral compass the likes that is rarely seen on a boy his age.” (One of my most proud moments.)

So Mark, boy, I know you are not perfect and I know you have and you will make mistakes,(sometimes you are the biggest bonehead of all in fact), but I love that you are the champion of the underdog, and the defender of the weak. I love that you follow your noblest instincts and always have. I love your sense of humor, you can always make me laugh and you break my heart just to look at you sometimes I love you so much.

I am not under any false pretenses that we made you who you are. You were born with the heart you have. You are you and neither Dad or I can take credit for the man you have chosen to become. You did that all on your own. (and if things go south from here on out and you turn out to be a bank robber or something, that’s not my fault either.)

Enjoy this magical summer between high school and college. The world is waiting for you and everything and anything is possible. Keep being yourself no matter where you go or what you do. Even when we are not around, we are with you every step of the way.