From the bottom of my heart thank you all so much for coming
today to celebrate the life of an amazing person, my father, Jeffrey Thomas Frank
If you do know my Dad then you know that even though he may
not be able to speak to us all he is definitely
here so at this time I would like to ask everyone to stand look right over my
shoulder where I know he is standing and give Jeff a round of applause.
My father loved a good story and growing up, we spent a lot
of time together and we watched a lot of television together. My parents worked
all the time and if my dad got a day off he wanted to relax and watch TV.
As a matter of fact it was during these years that my father
invented the very first remote control. Which was me sitting in a chair next to
the TV and changing the channel at his command during the commercial breaks.
If I complained he said, “No one under four feet gets a
vote.” Or “You’re a cute kid but who likes goats? Change the channel.” That
last one by the way, I remember when I finally realized that a baby goat is
called a kid after being called a goat for several years and not knowing why I came
rushing home from school because I had finally figured out what he was talking
about and he laughed at me for the rest of the day that it had taken me so long
to understand.
But it was during those times together as I switched back
and forth from Star Trek to Mary Tyler Moore to a war movie to a western to
Kung Foo and back again where we had our first real in depth conversations
about anything and everything as only Jeff liked to do.
He would tell me about life in ancient Greece, Egypt, China,
and Rome. He could recall statistics and dates of any battle in any war since
the beginning of man. He often spoke on the character of great men like his
heroes Marcus Auerilious, Alexander the Great, John Wayne, Mark Twain and of
course Mr. Spock to name just a few. My father could talk about astronomy,
agronomy, biology, history, geography, literature, religion and music. A
renaissance man he knew a lot about a lot of things. These are the traits that
made him a great bartender; a great teacher and a great entertainer; he could
talk to anyone that walked through the door about anything.
Once when I asked him if I could go to CCD with the other
kids, He handed me a book called Siddartha by Herman Hesse. Told me I had 2
weeks to read it and then we would discuss it and this would be the start of my
religious education. Having been
in catholic school his entire life including college, he disagreed with the
dogma and wanted me to learn a different way. I was nine years old.
“Dad, I don’t get this book.”
The book was originally written in German and translated in
the 1960’s to tell the story of the man who would be Buddha. It was a little
over my pay grade to say the least. We eventually had the conversation about
the book but I think I was 35 when I finally "got it". Which was probably the
same age he was when he gave it to me to begin with.
My father was also a big catchphrase guy. I think it started
with his admiration of Walter Cronkite’s “And that’s the way it is…” For a
while he would sign at the bottom of every email “Courage is being scared and
saddling up anyway” The immortal words of one of his heroes John Wayne of
course.
I would reply, “Ok, I was just seeing if you wanted to come
over for lunch on Tuesday but I’ll try to be brave till then.”
Then he found two phrases that he really fell in love with,
Yut-tah-hey and Via Con Dios. Yut-tah-hey is a Navajo saying for what I believe
translates to “Walk in Beauty.” And Via Con Dios means go with god. So every time
you would meet Jeff he would greet you with walk in beauty and leave you going
with God. As beautiful a sentiment as these are I must admit that unfortunately
upon hearing Yut-tah-hey it would induce immediate and severe eye rolling into
the back of my head but recently I have been miraculously cured of this and thank god
for you tube, I can listen to him say it anytime I want to.
My father has always been a person you could go to for help.
Not just our family but literally he would help anyone who needed helping. He
was a friend in deed to many in need. He even wanted to save the world.
The content of one’s character meant a lot to him. He taught
me to always do the right thing, even when it’s not the easy thing to do and
especially when no one is looking.
This week I drove around making arrangements and I had this
nagging feeling of unease. I finally realized that this is what it must feel
like to not have a dad in the physical world. My family is lucky, I am lucky
that we have each other and that we got to be around the sad Irish poet that
was my father Jeff for as long as we did. Bum ticker and all.
The parent child relationship is multi-faceted and has many
layers. We were not without our differences and when you love someone so much
sometimes it’s hard to see things as they really are without your own emotions
from past hurts coming into play. Ultimately everything that happens and
everyone that is in your life is there because you need them to be. My father
has been one of my greatest teachers and as he told me many times, I had been
his.
Growing up I really wanted my Dad to be regular.
“Just be more normal”, I would say.
“What is normal”, he would ask?
“Don’t say weird things to my friends.”
“OK, like what?”
“I don't know. Just don’t
talk about Alien life on other planets and things like that.”
“How is that
weird? Statistically its more probable than not”
“I know it
isn’t weird to you but some people think its weird and I would rather you just
didn’t bring it up.”
“OK, that’s
silly but fine.”
So my friends
come over and everyone loves my Dad, he is an engaging and friendly guy, the
kids dig him, as he would say.
Within 30 seconds He says, “You guys want to hear a story?”
I feel my teeth start to crack.
“Yeah Jeff tell us a story!”
“Well I was in
the park today and there was a man with a boa constrictor there.” (Uhm, ok…that is WEIRD!!)
“So I’m watching him as he put the snake down in the grass,
it picked its head up, looked over at me and immediately started slithering
towards me. I looked at the snake, sent it healing love and intention and it
stopped turned and slithered back to its owner. He knew I wasn’t someone to
mess with.”
“Wow Jeff that
is so interesting!”
As steam is coming out of my ears.
Later on I said, “Dad that is what I am talking about. That
was weird.”
“What was?”
“ The snake story!”
“How was that
weird?”
Heavy sigh, never mind.
What I learned with age comes wisdom and that regular is
actually not for me. Be different, think your own thoughts and dream your own
dreams. Everyone is a little weird; Jeff just didn’t pretend he wasn’t.
He died a happy man, having watched Daphne and I grow up and
marry guys who as he said at my wedding and again at Daphne’s “Thank God you
went for nice.” We happen to think they are pretty cute too.
Having grandchildren was what he treasured most in life.
They brought him more joy than anything else in this world and he was so proud
of his “Indigo” grandchildren.
He loved his brothers and sisters and my cousins Casey,
Brendan, Mallory, Mia, Brittany, and of course Brady and Travis who I am sure
were there to greet Jeff.
He loved and was loved in return not just by our family but
as you can see here today his many friends and his extended family through his
life work at The Nature Lyceum. He had found his tribe and with all of you and
a lot of hard work he made his dreams come true.
I was watching one of my Dad’s You Tube videos this week and
in it he said:
“How do we start to make a difference? We start by becoming
aware.” That is literally all it takes.
So Dad, I promise to follow not just your words but by your
example of living in openhearted awareness.
I thank you Dad
and will continue to thank you everyday for the empowerment you have given all of us who knew you and all you continue to do to help us and guide us from
the other side.
Thank you, Via Con Dios.
Brought tears to my eyes! May his soul rest in peace.
ReplyDeleteJeff have been feeling you here buddy. Miss you so much and hope I am visiting with you at night in the retreats. I feel better lately and am choosing to believe you have ascended my friend and that accounts for it. Please say hi to St. Germain and Mother Mary and the Masters. Help me pass my tests. You know what they are. Keeping you with me in Spirit always. namaste
ReplyDeleteyut-tah-hey....
ReplyDeleteJust as beautiful as the first time you read it...Love You Claire
ReplyDelete