Life in Balance

Courage is grace under pressure. –Ernest Hemingway

Does the lid feel like it’s about to blow? Tension and anxiety appear to be building and people seem to be looking for answers but it doesn’t sound as if they know what the questions are.

If we are all somehow energetically connected, like a grid, as I believe, then I think we are experiencing a brown out. This amorphous dissatisfaction seems to be the common thread among most people. We are in desperate need of balance, but how do we get it?

What does being balanced even feel like? If we don’t know what we are looking for, how will we know when and if we get it?

 I stumbled upon, (literally), a great blog yesterday called Self Improvement Saga, one entry was entitled, “Vibrational Frequency and the Law of Allowing”  (http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2r8y16/blog.self-improvement-saga.com/2011/05/law-of-allowing-vibrational-frequency/)

In it the author asks you to answer the following questions:

1)    Write down the 5 things you want out of life.

2)    What feeling or benefit comes along with each of these answers?

So let’s take some obvious goals anyone could want.

1) Be healthier

2) Be happier

3) Be more successful in my relationships

4) Attain professional success

5) Have financial freedom

By attaining any or all of these I will feel accomplished, confident, happier and whole.

Then the next step would be to ask your self the question, “What do I have to do to accomplish these things?” First off I would have to look inward and ask myself out loud, what is keeping me from having all of this?

Well, if I am being honest with myself (which is KEY) than I know the only thing that is keeping me from fulfilling my dreams is, well, me. I have to learn to get out of my own way to get what I want. Does that sound selfish? To actually get what you want? We have been trained to not think that way.  What do you mean your doing what is best for you?! How rude, who do you think you are?

What is better, not getting what you want because it is socially acceptable to do what everyone else wants you to do?  Or doing what is right in order for you to achieve your wildest dreams? (And BTW, there is a difference between working hard to achieve your dreams and being arrogant and demanding things you don’t deserve. There is no justification for entitlement.)

Everyone deep down knows what they have to do to make their lives better. They just choose to hang on to the default setting of, “It's not my fault, it's not fair, I don’t feel like it today, maybe just one more, if he/she didn’t do….then I wouldn’t have to do….” Sometimes the answers are really difficult to hear spoken out loud. We avoid saying them, desperate to keep the secret of what it really will take. but we are only fooling ourselves.

Maybe being in balance will change nothing but your perspective and how you see your situation But maybe that is all you need to have a better life.

Go into the ‘settings’ and change the default. Accept responsibility and accountability that everything we get in life is coming to us because one way or another we attracted it.

I am saying this not because my life is perfect and I have everything I want. I am saying this because I try to reset the default button everyday in hopes that someday my muscle memory will make the right decisions by default. I know everything I need to do to have everything I need.  As my friend Pat says, It is time to stop looking at the vitamin bottle on the counter top and just take one already. So true!

So here is what you do.

Listen to your intuition. Like I used to say to my teenage children before they went out on a Saturday night, “Jiminy Cricket!” And that meant, “Always let your conscience be your guide". Listen to that voice in your head, it speaks the truth! You already know what to do.

Practice yoga and/or some form or another of meditation. It doesn’t have to be hard-core Ashtanga or Bikram yoga and you don’t have to live in an Ashram.

An easy, restorative, therapeutic yoga practice will help your body create what Bo Forbes in his book “Yoga for Emotional Balance” calls, neuroplasticity, which is basically muscle memory for your nervous system. Return to who you really are. When you practice this even for a short time everyday your nervous system will say “Oh yeeaahh. I remember you! Haven’t seen you in years but this natural, relaxed and balanced state is who you really are!” Running and doing serious cardiovascular workouts are extremely beneficial, but I think turning inward and being gentle and kind with yourself is going to connect you to the balance you seek.

Practice breathing. Sounds crazy! Why would we practice something that we do all day long, even unconsciously?

Believe it or not, most people typically breathe short and shallow breaths rather than  deep breaths from the belly. To practice belly breathing you put your hands on either side of your rib cage and breath deeply and evenly through your nose and feel your rib cage expanding on the inhale and contracting on the exhale. By doing so you are stimulating the parasympathetic nervous system. This is the “rest and digest” system. This calms everything down and when you practice this everyday, than when something truly stressful appears in your life you will have this tool to go to automatically.

When you mouth breath and your shoulders move up to your ears on the inhale you are shallow breathing. This type of breathing stimulates the sympathetic nervous system, or the “fight or flight response”.  Of course this is vital to our existence on the planet but your body, not only responds to danger through this system but also stress, fear, depression, anger and sadness can trigger the sympathetic system. So when an intruder breaks into your home or you run into a bear in the woods you want that fight or flight response. But when your spouse or partner annoys you or you are in traffic, or in any situation where stress can be triggered its best to learn how to control your breathing thus helping you to control your emotional response to everyday life. Your ability to respond is your responsibility!

Every single person on the planet holds within them the key to living in balance. And it is balance for all human beings, that is our birthright, that will end the feeling of living in this simmering pot.

Have faith and keep an open mind. It is like everything else that is worthwhile you have to have a dedicated practice to be in balance. It doesn’t happen overnight but if you keep it going, one night it will happen.


Just like the vitamins, it is sitting right in front of you. Go ahead, take one already.