INSTINCTS

 Instinct is untaught ability-Alexander Bain

Learn to trust your instincts. Spiders don’t go to spider web school. Birds don’t attend Bird nest making camp. They just instinctively know from the very fiber of their being what it is they are meant to do. I think we do to, but we are conditioned not to because we have to fit in with the societal standards of what everyone else thinks we should be doing.

I can’t tell you how many conversations I have with people who have said to me, “I would love to do……….” But I can’t.”

Why? Because by the time we have lived life enough to know who we are and what our calling to ourselves really is we have already had a job for 15 years and we can’t switch jobs or lines of work because (a) We need the financial security of a steady paycheck and (b) What would people think?

I understand (a) financial stability. Who wants to give up finer things in life for a gamble? What if I follow my dreams and I fail? Then I don’t have the security. I am too afraid to try; I will stay right where I am. This is “FINE” and in 30 more years I will retire and do what I want. For just a moment, think about, What if I follow my dreams and I succeed far beyond my wildest dreams because I am actually passionate about what it is I am doing. If your passionate about what you do, there is no way you could ever fail. Even if you don’t make more money than you could ever dream of spending, you also wouldn’t feel like you were even doing that four letter word W-O-R-K because you were so happy, grateful and appreciative that you got to do what you loved every single day. Look at so many people who grind it out every day for their whole lives and finally retire and get sick and die in a year. We have all heard stories like that. Seize the day, do what you love and love what you do.

‘I can’t what about the kids’. What about the kids? I think kids pick up on energy way before anyone gives them credit for. Never fight in front of the kids but have WWIII’s in the garage away from prying ears? Guess what, they pick up on it. (Not ok to have WWIII in front of them either but healthy, respectful disagreements are apart of life!) Do you sometimes feel like your living an inauthentic life but we have to do it to have all these nice THINGS that the kids need to be happy. Kids need love to be happy and that is all they need. If you feel love and someone has faith in you that you are not so insecure that you will be unhappy if you don’t have the latest fashion trend or toy, its actually empowering them. You are saying, I actually think way more of you than to think you need THINGS in order to be a happy, well rounded, good person. You are a kick ass kid no matter what you wear or what you play with or where you play it.

Then we come to (b) what would people think??  I have said it before, THE QUALITY OF THE LIFE YOU LEAD REVOLVES AROUND YOUR SELF-ESTEEM. You can live a rich, happy and fulfilling life doing what inspires you and in turn others will be inspired or you can do what your parents, spouse, co-workers and peers say you should do. I lived like that for a long time and I noticed I became really resentful. I resented myself and I didn’t even know why. I resented my spouse, friends and family and again, I had no idea why. All I knew was that I wasn’t happy and I didn’t know how to make myself happy. I knew happiness was a choice to be made but how do you make that choice when you don’t know what true happiness feels like? I know what fleeting happiness feels like! I felt it every time I bought new shoes or planned a trip or got invited to a big party or something like that but as soon as the excitement wore off, I felt unhappy or unsatisfied again. Why? I had everything anyone would or could ever want! After years of being a busy mom my kids were growing up and I actually had time for myself! What was wrong with me? Like most shifts that occur in people’s lives it took a monumental change like moving to a new state to bring about a monumental shift. Usually it is God working in mysterious ways. When something happens and we say, oh no, why is this happening to me? But if you are looking carefully you will notice pretty quickly why something happens. Usually spiritual or emotional growth is a side effect of a shift. You can squeeze your eyes wide shut and choose not to see what is going on around you or you can notice the change, embrace it and go with it. I went with it. What I found was, I knew how to be happy all along I just wasn’t paying attention to what truly makes me happy, (or rather how I can make myself happy!). I am learning to trust my instincts. I actually know inherently what is best for me. I am learning to listen to my body because it doesn’t lie to me. When I trust my instincts and I am doing what is right for me and not what is right for anyone else I feel like I am moving on all cylinders. It isn’t easy! We want to be good kids, husbands, wives, parents and friends. We don’t want to be rude. We want everyone to like us and think we are great. We want to be responsible and do what is right for our family and friends. If we all had the self-esteem God intended for us to have we would all be respectful and at ease with other people’s decisions to live their lives the way they see fit. Not what we as a society “think” they should be doing, but what their own instincts tell them they should do. And know that just because someone does something different it doesn’t mean that they are being judgmental that what you are doing is wrong. Individual instincts, we were all born with specific talents and specific purposes. Listen to your instincts and find out what that means to you.