summer yoga mix

Belly Breathing

I truly believe that if a good laugh is like a mini vacation than a few good deep breaths are like a few hours of therapy. It is miraculous how deep belly breathing can change your mind, which in turn changes everything. The quality of your experience comes from the thoughts you create in your mind so think good thoughts and the way to do that is to come back to your breath.

We all have stress, fear, anxiety and worry. We are human so we are conditioned to have these feelings. Once you are aware of the fact that these feelings are creeping in then take a moment and breathe. Place your hands on your abdomen as you inhale deeply feel your belly expand and as you exhale feel your belly contract. During the exhale once you think your done, just try squeezing a little more air out. Everyone is always more interested in the inhale but the more air you are able to squeeze out of the exhale the more you train your intercostal muscles to automatically take in more oxygen on the inhale without even thinking about it.

As you inhale think love, acceptance, gratitude and forgiveness and as you exhale just release any negative thoughts or feelings you are carrying around with you. You may not particularly feel love, acceptance, gratitude and forgiveness but just saying these words to yourself while breathing deeply will create a shift that you will feel.

I was visiting with friends recently, and the dad had to  deal with a temper tantrum his son was having. He was really frustrated and just stepped outside to take a few breaths and get some space. He came back in about 10 minutes later and looked at me with a surprised face and said, "This breathing thing really works!" I said, "I know! Its crazy!" So check it out, anytime your starting to listen to those negative thoughts in your head or a stressful situation occurs, start the belly breathing. Its easier to change your mind than you think!

INSTINCTS

 Instinct is untaught ability-Alexander Bain

Learn to trust your instincts. Spiders don’t go to spider web school. Birds don’t attend Bird nest making camp. They just instinctively know from the very fiber of their being what it is they are meant to do. I think we do to, but we are conditioned not to because we have to fit in with the societal standards of what everyone else thinks we should be doing.

I can’t tell you how many conversations I have with people who have said to me, “I would love to do……….” But I can’t.”

Why? Because by the time we have lived life enough to know who we are and what our calling to ourselves really is we have already had a job for 15 years and we can’t switch jobs or lines of work because (a) We need the financial security of a steady paycheck and (b) What would people think?

I understand (a) financial stability. Who wants to give up finer things in life for a gamble? What if I follow my dreams and I fail? Then I don’t have the security. I am too afraid to try; I will stay right where I am. This is “FINE” and in 30 more years I will retire and do what I want. For just a moment, think about, What if I follow my dreams and I succeed far beyond my wildest dreams because I am actually passionate about what it is I am doing. If your passionate about what you do, there is no way you could ever fail. Even if you don’t make more money than you could ever dream of spending, you also wouldn’t feel like you were even doing that four letter word W-O-R-K because you were so happy, grateful and appreciative that you got to do what you loved every single day. Look at so many people who grind it out every day for their whole lives and finally retire and get sick and die in a year. We have all heard stories like that. Seize the day, do what you love and love what you do.

‘I can’t what about the kids’. What about the kids? I think kids pick up on energy way before anyone gives them credit for. Never fight in front of the kids but have WWIII’s in the garage away from prying ears? Guess what, they pick up on it. (Not ok to have WWIII in front of them either but healthy, respectful disagreements are apart of life!) Do you sometimes feel like your living an inauthentic life but we have to do it to have all these nice THINGS that the kids need to be happy. Kids need love to be happy and that is all they need. If you feel love and someone has faith in you that you are not so insecure that you will be unhappy if you don’t have the latest fashion trend or toy, its actually empowering them. You are saying, I actually think way more of you than to think you need THINGS in order to be a happy, well rounded, good person. You are a kick ass kid no matter what you wear or what you play with or where you play it.

Then we come to (b) what would people think??  I have said it before, THE QUALITY OF THE LIFE YOU LEAD REVOLVES AROUND YOUR SELF-ESTEEM. You can live a rich, happy and fulfilling life doing what inspires you and in turn others will be inspired or you can do what your parents, spouse, co-workers and peers say you should do. I lived like that for a long time and I noticed I became really resentful. I resented myself and I didn’t even know why. I resented my spouse, friends and family and again, I had no idea why. All I knew was that I wasn’t happy and I didn’t know how to make myself happy. I knew happiness was a choice to be made but how do you make that choice when you don’t know what true happiness feels like? I know what fleeting happiness feels like! I felt it every time I bought new shoes or planned a trip or got invited to a big party or something like that but as soon as the excitement wore off, I felt unhappy or unsatisfied again. Why? I had everything anyone would or could ever want! After years of being a busy mom my kids were growing up and I actually had time for myself! What was wrong with me? Like most shifts that occur in people’s lives it took a monumental change like moving to a new state to bring about a monumental shift. Usually it is God working in mysterious ways. When something happens and we say, oh no, why is this happening to me? But if you are looking carefully you will notice pretty quickly why something happens. Usually spiritual or emotional growth is a side effect of a shift. You can squeeze your eyes wide shut and choose not to see what is going on around you or you can notice the change, embrace it and go with it. I went with it. What I found was, I knew how to be happy all along I just wasn’t paying attention to what truly makes me happy, (or rather how I can make myself happy!). I am learning to trust my instincts. I actually know inherently what is best for me. I am learning to listen to my body because it doesn’t lie to me. When I trust my instincts and I am doing what is right for me and not what is right for anyone else I feel like I am moving on all cylinders. It isn’t easy! We want to be good kids, husbands, wives, parents and friends. We don’t want to be rude. We want everyone to like us and think we are great. We want to be responsible and do what is right for our family and friends. If we all had the self-esteem God intended for us to have we would all be respectful and at ease with other people’s decisions to live their lives the way they see fit. Not what we as a society “think” they should be doing, but what their own instincts tell them they should do. And know that just because someone does something different it doesn’t mean that they are being judgmental that what you are doing is wrong. Individual instincts, we were all born with specific talents and specific purposes. Listen to your instincts and find out what that means to you.

Beautiful

Yesterday I led a group of young women in a yoga class. There were eight young ladies, two of them being my own daughters, who showed up. Music is important to me and I always have what I consider a great play list going for my classes. Especially when I am teaching kids, they respond to music, its their thing. So be it from the Glee soundtrack or something new I use what I think they will respond to, to help me get their attention.

These group of girls ranged in age 12 to 15. They came in very giggly but ready to go with great attitudes. We went through most of the 45 minute class, (any longer and I was afraid I would lose them), and just as we are getting ready for shivasana, the hardest pose of the day for energetic, healthy young girls of summer, Christina Aguilera's song Beautiful comes on. (I encouraged singing along to the play list if at anytime the feeling came to them but before that I think no one wanted to be the one to blurt anything out other than, 'oh, I love this song!') All of the sudden these girls all at once just started singing at the top of their lunges, loud and proud. It was as the song is entitled, so beautiful. I could have cried. Yes girls! This is the goal! Be yourselves, free from what anyone else thinks, says or does. Independent, unafraid, courageous, free thinking, beautiful girls. After an hour of being on the mat together they were all united. Great positive energy flowing through the room, from them and for them. It was a moment I will never forget. After the song was over they miraculously settled down immediately and got right into relaxation, almost like exuding that last bit of energy did the trick. they ended with hands at heart center, in a bow with a Namaste. A little step closer to having them all be in their own 75 degree, sunny with a breeze world.

 Read the lyrics the girl's belted out

Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, i saw debris
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone left the puzzle undone
That's the way it is

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down
Don't you bring me down today...

No matter what we do
(no matter what we do)
No matter what they say
(no matter what they say)
When the sun is shining through
Then the clouds won't stay


And everywhere we go
(everywhere we go)
The sun won't always shine
(sun won't always shine)
But tomorrow will find a way
All the other times

'cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down
Don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today
Don't you bring me down today 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!

Wrinkles should merely indicate where smiles have been.  ~Mark Twain,

Today is my 41^st birthday. I don’t mind getting older in fact, I welcome it. With each year a little softer, (my personality and my body), a little wiser, a little more tolerant and patient in some ways and intolerant and impatient in others. I have a beautiful family and wonderful friends. I have no time for BS and all the time in the world for people I love.

(Is it bad by the way that the first email I woke up to was ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY FROM WINE.COM’-haha)

I brought my daughter to check out her first apartment yesterday. Funny how cyclical it all is. It is now her time to experience all that life has to offer, and for me to draw on my experiences. I look on with pride and excitement for all that she has waiting for her and I look back with happiness at the life we have shared in this family to get her to this exciting and wonderful place. I consider myself blessed for sure that I have no regrets. Every single thing that has happened in this life has been absolutely necessary to get us to the place we are today. I am 41 years old and have been a mother all of my adult life. Not the easiest of challenges but none the less one that I thank GOD for everyday. We have managed to raise kind, thoughtful, empathetic, funny, great people. People I want to hang out with. (Is that why people have kids? So when you get older and less tolerant of other people’s personalities you have a nice little set of your own people to hang out with?? Brilliant!)

The greatest gift I could ever receive I have already had all along. The love of a wonderful family, from the one that raised me to the one I am raising. Which goes back to the prayer I like to say to myself with every deep inhalation, ‘I already have everything I need, and I am exactly where I am meant to be’. And with every exhalation ‘Thank you’.

Breathing Mediatation for a busy life

Sit in a quiet place, preferably in nature but a chair inside is good to. If your inside, light a candle and place it in front of you so you can focus your gaze on something and not get distracted. If your outside, pick a focal point or you can just close your eyes either way. Spine straight, shoulders relaxed. Palms on your lap face up, fingers curled. Soften your face, tongue behind your top teeth, teeth parted, lips parted, chin slightly tucked, feet planted on the ground.

Take in a deep inhale, your belly should rise as you inhale and fall as you exhale. just concentrate on the sound of your breath coming in and out of your body. Envision it as positive energy, a golden light coming in through your nostrils and going through your whole body and when you exhale, any negative energy, emotions, feelings comes out of your nostrils and out of your body, until all that is there is positive golden light energy.

If your mind wanders, that's OK, your human. Just notice the thought and put it away for later or forget about it! You may want to pick a mantra. For example, as you breath in you can say, I am exactly where I am meant to be and as you breath out you can say to yourself, Thank you. Practice this for 10 minutes, leading up to longer as you become more at ease with taking time out for yourself. No justifications or excuses necessary, its good for you so just do it.

The Nature Lyceum

I attended Jeff Frank's, (my dad), Nature Lyceum class this week. I took the 2 day Seminar in organics in an old meeting house on Sound Avenue. It was great. Very interesting. Great speakers, fascinating subject matter, beautiful organic lunch provided, I loved it. If you are a home-owner, or you work in the green industry or you are a parent or a grand parent, an animal lover or anyone who cares, (and you really should care) you should check out this course. It is a lot of information, and some of it is a little out there by today's standards. You definitely have to have an open heart and an open mind but once you do you will be glad you went. Really everything that is taught is going back to the beginning. What our ancestors used to practice. What the Native Americans practiced forever. We are all from one source, including the earth, plants, trees and animals everything is connected. We need to honor each other and ourselves in order to move forward. It is no secret that our environment is in a very frightening state of affairs. We can change things, if we have the information. And they have the information.

If you have an open mind then check it out. If you don't but you know someone who does, tell them about it and maybe they will let you in on what they learned. We are all in this together, let's help each other out. You can follow the link at the bottom of the blog to The Nature Lyceum.

Just say No!

Do you tend to automaticaly say yes to things people ask you to do? I am all for being a faithful friend but an un-faithful yes to something doesn't make anyone feel good. Your body doesn't lie to you, learn to feel the signals your body gives you and honor yourself. Go with your gut. If someone asks you to do something you don't want to do, its OK to listen to what your body is saying and give them a respectful no. I'm sorry, I won't be able to do that for you. No justifications or excuses necessary. Just a friendly no. In turn you will be saying yes to your own well-being.

The Shift

Every new beginning is from some other beginnings end.- Semisonic

When you feel a transformation happening it is our first instinct to ignore, run and hide from it. I remember watchng The Simpsons with my kids years ago and Marge said, "I'm sorry sir, I don't mean to be rude but we fear change." Ah Marge, that old sage. It is a scary thing to do but try to embrace a change. Think of it as a way to let your spirit grow. Open hearted awreness will allow you to see your own transformation. As Jon Kabot Zinn has said, Bearing witness changes everything. 

If it seems like its hard then your doing it right! I say to my kids all the time, nothing worthwhile should come that easy. It is very easy to cover your eyes and ears and say, 'nananana I can't hear you or see you!' but as humans we are the species that knows and we know that we know. (ya know?)

I am going to try to get out of my own way and embrace whatever happens next and know it is exactly where I am meant to be.

People Really Like Milk music video by our friend Billy Kelly